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Susan Boyd's Bio: Susan Boyd blogs on USYouthSoccer.org every Monday. A dedicated mother and wife, Susan offers a truly unique perspective into the world of a "Soccer Mom". You can read her complete bio and some great tips for parents by clicking here. |
Battery Park
| Nov 16 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
The lead stories on Monday's Today show were, in order, Hurricane Ida, the Fort Hood shootings, and a female soccer player accused of rough play. The fact that in the midst of wars, economic concerns, and health reform, the manner of play in a soccer game would warrant the number three lead story on a national news show instantly piqued my interest.
For those of you unaware of this story here's a short recap. Last week BYU hosted New Mexico's Lobos women's team for a game. One Lobos player overstepped the boundaries of civilized play. Her behavior included kicking a ball full force right in the face of a downed player, punching another player in the back with her fist, and most horrifyingly yanking a player's pony tail so violently that her neck arched back and she collapsed on the ground. Did she ever get a card or at minimum a whistle? She was admonished just once with a yellow over the ball in the face. Otherwise all her actions went unnoticed and unpenalized. When the video of her actions hit YouTube and the national news, her coach suspended her from the team for an unspecified time and many in the public clamored for her suspension from the university. The player in question apologized for her behavior by stating that, "I let my emotions get the best of me in a heated situation." She knew she had chosen to behave badly. We read stories like this all the time, and worse we personally witness violence in sports. For example, this fall I witnessed a player long after play had stopped stomp on a downed defender's head opening a wound that required five stitches. He was sent off with a red. French player and three-time FIFA World Player of the Year Zinedine Zidane head butted two players in 2000 and 2006 respectively. He also was sent off with a red. Just recently a Rhode Island high school girls' soccer championship game turned into a brawl between the teams. The game was suspended. A club player last year was sucker punched as he walked off the field. The victim ended up in a coma with severe head injuries. Although no card was issued because the game was over. Assault and battery are legally defined as "the intentional and unjustified use of force upon the person of another, however slight, or the intentional doing of a wanton or grossly negligent act causing personal injury to another." Assault is also defined as "the threat of violence while battery is the actual act of violence resulting in injury" (Judicial Definitions, State of Massachusetts). We excuse battery in the course of a sporting event because we accept it as a justifiable offshoot of the aggressive nature of the competition. In reality it's not. Sports have rules that carefully and constructively lay out the acceptable limits of behavior. Most sports don't tolerate excessive aggression or contact between players, and that is certainly true of soccer. Yet players consistently get away with extremely unacceptable violent behavior with little more than a card and possibly a one or two game suspension. Referees have limited ability to enforce anything further than sending a player off. The real police need to be coaches and the governing agencies of the sport. When a player is unnecessarily violent – and those instances should be clear to all who witness them – then a coach needs to exercise swift and serious consequences. A case in point was a recent event between the University of Oregon and Boise State University football players LeGarrette Blount and Byron Hout respectively. Hout taunted Blount after the U of O lost to BSU and then tapped his shoulder in a mildly aggressive way. Blount retaliated by punching Hout and momentarily knocking him out. The U of O coach and AD both responded within hours of the event with a suspension of Blount from the football team. Blount's behavior was no more dangerous than that of the player who stomped on the defender's head in a soccer game. And at least Blount was directly provoked by Hout. But in the case of the soccer player only a red card was issued, he served a one game suspension, and was back to playing soccer without any further recourse. That's not right. While the letter of the law was followed, the spirit was certainly neglected. Players need to be held as accountable for their on-field actions as they are for their off-field actions. The same weekend as the head stomping incident, a student was suspended from school for kicking another student in the face during the course of a verbal argument. The injury required some stitches and no hospitalization. So it was on a similar level as the injury the soccer player administered. The only difference was that one injury occurred during the course of a verbal confrontation and the other occurred during the course of a sport competition. Both were unacceptable and excessive demonstrations of violence and both were preventable had the aggressor made the choice not to follow through with harm.
That is the key point. Any contact sport will have violent moments. It comes as a matter of course from heavy, moving objects flying about. But when the violence comes from an action outside the boundaries of play, then it is a choice made by a player. I'm talking about intentional infliction of injury by one player upon another and not those injuries which might be intentional, but come about due to reckless play such as tripping or sliding cleats up. Intentional injury, for this argument, comes when an aggressor has time to consider his or her actions and then decides to proceed. The video of the Lobos player showed that all of her actions were a matter of choice and didn't arise from the flow of the game. For that reason and no others, she needs to be held accountable. Luckily nothing she did resulted in injury, but it could have. She was a poor representative of her team and played with poor sportsmanship not to mention the potential for injury. Better she got caught now rather than later with more serious results. Coaches need to be willing to address those actions and to let it be known that they won't be tolerated. Should injury occur they need to institute serious and extended consequences. We can't eliminate violence on the field, but we can certainly make sure that it is dealt with swiftly and seriously. Knowing how gravely a coach will react might give a player extra pause in that moment he or she considers an attack. At least it will erase the false protection of the pitch as a place with different societal rules. |
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| Nov 9 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
I don't suppose most of us would pair up Sesame Street and The Rolling Stones in the same thought. But I did. This week is the 40th anniversary of Sesame Street. Our oldest daughter was born just weeks after Sesame Street began, so you could say we grew up there together. In 1981 they added a brief character called Mick Swagger and the Cobblestones who sang their hit, "I Can't Get No Co-Operation." While I enjoyed the rendition, I had always thought there was a more appropriate Stones tune that reflected the moral lessons of growing up. And when the 40th anniversary was celebrated on the Today Show, I thought about it again. The chorus spoke perfectly to what I thought then and what I still think – "No you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find that you get what you need."
All too often we confuse want and need especially when it comes to our children. We wish they can have everything, and we do our best to make it happen which often leads to overspending or unreal expectations. Saying "no" to requests becomes so infrequent that our children can't comprehend that "no" exists. You've all been there in the store and witnessed a child (your child) having a complete meltdown at the checkout counter because she didn't get what she wanted. We have advertisers and peer pressure making things worse. When the boys turned sixteen, most of their friends got new cars that were fancier than mine. Of course, I guess anything is fancier than a car with 250,000 miles and a permanent check engine light. But the message was clear – what the boys wanted fell far outside of what they, even what I, needed. For example we get told that what our kids wear can affect how they play. While that fancy pair of bright green or red cleats create flash on the pitch, they can't provide any assurance of skill. Most cleats are a case of want over need, otherwise why would manufacturers design and build new, outrageous options each year. At $200 a pair, cleats are an extravagance that can't be supported by outcome, although both our boys were adapt at making that argument. Lighter cleats, wider cleats, kangaroo leather cleats, side-tie, no tie, gel, and ad nausem became the rallying cry for needing a new pair every few months. If cleats provided as utilitarian a purpose as young players argue, then why aren't the boots all just black and functional? I think we all know the answer to that one. Function in a spanking new format is the name of the promotion game. You can't get a product out the door of a store before the new banner touting a faster, brighter, cleaner, streamlined version unfurls. Ask either of my boys how often I said, "the color doesn't matter," and they'll tell you how often they rolled their eyes. The same argument holds true for training devices, outerwear, bags, goalkeeper jerseys, and balls. "No" became very easy after I ordered with costs and duty a World Cup ball directly from Germany only to have it "disappear" less than four hours after arriving. When it comes to being in youth sports, parents try their best to manipulate outcomes often with disastrous results. Parents become bullies to coaches and club administrators in order to get their kids on the "right" team, which often doesn't mean the team which is right for their child's abilities and interests, but the team that is perceived as the standout team. When I was a club administrator and later a US Youth Soccer Association Olympic Development Program assistant I fielded a huge share of these threats and ultimatums. But parents couldn't accept "no" on behalf of their kids. In the end they got a reputation as being difficult and burned bridges. And need flew out the window with want. Right now my oldest son is looking to transfer colleges. We have been paying a huge premium for him to attend the school he's at so he could play soccer there. But the cow has run dry. Without a major bump in scholarship money, we can't afford to continue sending him there. That's a huge "no" and hard to swallow. But he's been very understanding. I credit that understanding to having heard "no" other times in his life when he achingly hoped he'd hear "yes." What he needs is a good education; what he wants is a good education while he plays soccer. It may not be possible to give him what he wants. We hope it can still happen. We're working on that goal, but in life wanting it will never fully justify getting it. Sesame Street taught my kids and now my grandkids their numbers, the alphabet, and life lessons. But it also reminded me as a parent that an hour a day with some Muppets won't make a huge impact without the remaining twenty-three hours with me reinforcing the message. I know I was indulgent with my kids. I am definitely indulgent with my grandkids, but that's what grandparents were put on earth to do! But we all have to temper our desire to give our children everything they want because that's a bottomless pit of yearning. Soon it will be Hanukkah and Christmas, and we are already being inundated with the not so subtle message that love equals big gifts. I imagine Mick Jagger rarely denied himself or his children anything, but he still managed to get it right in a song. What we should be trying to do is to find what we need. What we want will always be around to tempt us, so there's no trouble finding that. |
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| Nov 2 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Outdoor soccer is winding down in most of the country. Even if the fields weren't turning into Elysian mud bowls and even if snow didn't obscure the lines, the dwindling daylight with the advent of standard time dictates that outdoor soccer isn't practical. Some facilities boast lights which makes them very special indeed, but in my soccer travels I've found that most of the lighted fields are in areas where the weather permits outdoor soccer year round and many overlook artificial turf.
So what's a player to do until spring and the return of daylight savings time? The answer that immediately springs to mind – play indoor soccer. But that's not always possible. While some communities have indoor soccer parks, many indoor soccer practices and games occur in school gyms on less than ideal surfaces. Obviously soccer clubs who want to both retain players and maintain training over the winter months end up reserving as much school and church gym time as they can. In Milwaukee it's often a race to see who can get their applications into the recreation departments early enough. That used to be my job – making sure our club procured sufficient indoor practice time. I would stand outside the district office early on the first morning applications were accepted. I even brought coffee for the staff as they arrived. I'm no idiot – a happy government employee is a helpful government employee. Every year we got our full complement of gym time minus the music concerts, election days, book fairs, and carnivals. I wasn't just up against other soccer clubs; I was up against basketball, gymnastics, volleyball, and after-school club. I was once greeted in the grocery with the phrase: You're the lady who steals all the gym time. There's a reason my phone number is unlisted! Despite taking risks that might drive my neighbors to march on my home much like the villagers did against Frankenstein's monster, I was not beloved in my soccer club either. No, I was chastised by parents and coaches for reserving such inadequate facilities at inconvenient times. The gyms rented for $7 an hour while the indoor soccer park rented for $180 an hour/field. No coach was willing to accept a smaller wage and no parent was willing to pay a larger club fee, yet they felt that they should still be practicing indoors on a "real" field; that is to say a field one-third the size of a standard soccer field with walls abutting all four sides, artificial turf laid on a concrete slab, and an odor that on a good day could be described as burying your face in your child's soccer socks after a game in the rain. Because the indoor park sponsored dozens of leagues, reservation times were usually Saturday and Sunday mornings before 8 a.m. and after 11 p.m. Not exactly what the displeased wanted to hear. There is another option for families, especially for families with young players – do another sport over winter. This probably sounds treasonous coming from a blogger on a youth soccer site, but truthfully even soccer coaches agree that taking a break from soccer in the early years can be both healthy and beneficial. Certainly once a player graduates to a select team he or she may need to practice year round to continue the development of individual and team skills. But for players under age 12 taking a break from the sport gives them the opportunity to try out other sports, decide if soccer is the sport they want to singularly pursue, and open up to a new group of friends. Additionally there's the argument that repetitive muscle training isn't healthy and leads to injury. I tend to sidestep the medical issues and look more significantly at the social side of the argument. Life is too short to be so focused so young. There are winter sports that keep kids outdoors and give them a world of great experiences. Few of our kids will end up being the next Michael Essien or Abby Wambach, but they will all grow up to be adults who need to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled. Our sons chose to stick to soccer. They love the sport. When they aren't playing, they are often talking about the sport, reading about it, or watching it. Yet even in the midst of all that passion, they also enjoyed basketball, baseball, snowboarding, running, golf, volleyball, and gymnastics. They aren't proficient in any of these, but enjoyed doing them and continue to play many of them for fun. They have friends who golf who have no interest in soccer and friends who snowboard who couldn't tell you what PK stands for. Taking a two or three month break from soccer but not from healthy activity can't be bad for our children especially when the soccer they are missing is some reconfiguration of the sport to fit the constraints of an odd facility and its availability. Hopefully your soccer club or sports organization allows you to take winter off by providing a fee structure split among the seasons. They should definitely do this until select soccer. If they don't, it never hurts to ask if you can be relieved of the winter assessment if your son or daughter wants to try something else over the winter. Or you can follow one grandkid's route. He did gymnastics in the fall and now wants to do soccer indoors for the winter. Go figure! |
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| Oct 26 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
| This past weekend my grandson's undefeated team met the other undefeated team in his league. One team had to lose and that team was my grandson's. Although they scored right away, that would be it for them. Their opponents scored several times, including a score in the waning seconds of the game. It wasn't just a defeat; it was a rout. When you're nine, lessons on the value of defeat don't really penetrate and bring life altering enlightenment. On the other hand, the agony of defeat has a half-life equal to the time it takes to walk from the field over to the snack cooler. As Coach Darrell Royal said, "I learned this about coaching: You don't have to explain victory and you can't explain defeat." It's true whether you're a kid or a multi-million dollar pro. But the role of coach changes over the years. Cutthroat can work with adults, but is far too heavy-handed for youth. Kids are still developing a passion for the game which isn't served by a coach being overly passionate for success. Being a youth coach ranks as one of the most difficult jobs around. You need to deal with short attention spans, behavior problems, delicate egos, tantrums, and unrealistic expectations – and that's just the parents! Coaches need to be teachers, counselors, arbitrators, prophets, handlers, healers, schedulers, and cheerleaders. Most youth coaches are also parents of players on the team, so they have to step in and out of their coach and parent roles. It used to be that youth coaches were just thrown into the soup without preparation. Some might have extensive playing experience or some may have had soccer in 8th grade gym. So it's no wonder that youth coaching can be uneven. However U.S. Youth Soccer Association and United States Soccer Federation have taken steps to make youth coaching more professional and standard. They require any youth coach in their programs to attend a course and receive a coaching certificate. The course is brief, but does help put every coach at an equal starting point. Victories and defeats can end up defining the strength of a coach. Not because a coach oversees more victories than defeats, but because the coach has developed a way to be a strong role model and leader during either event. The old adage about being humble in victory and gracious in defeat has to be taught by example. Too many coaches want to be Vince Lombardi with his attitude that "if you can accept losing, you can't win." Losses result in long diatribes about failure and weakness and incompetence. Wins end up being an excuse to insult the opposing team and reward arrogance. Wise youth coaches opt for a positive appraisal without the agonizing dissection to ferret out the weaknesses leading to defeat. There's definitely something to be said for having a winning outlook. But the truth is that even the Miami Dolphins eventually lost a game. Winning over and over can indicate that a team isn't being challenged. And most of us face challenges in our lives with varying degrees of success. We need to learn how to deal with the less successful outcomes – dare I say defeats – with character and perseverance, developing the ability to improve. Malcolm Forbes, who could be the poster boy for success, said that "victory is sweetest when you've known defeat." So coaches need to infuse the playing experience with a joy that transcends the outcome. It's not about winning or losing at this age. It's about developing an interest in and a passion for the sport. The glory of victory and the humiliation of defeat don't need to be taught. Over the years all of us innately learn that the former is far more desirable than the latter. But because kids are both resilient and short of memory, we can't feed them our anxieties and expectations for game outcomes. Keaton's team lost, but he didn't lose his love for playing. In fact he got to play a different position at the end of the game, which got him very excited about being on offense rather than defense. He's fired up for the next game, which is exactly the way it should all play out. His league has the last two games set up to be between teams with equal or near equal records. So it's very possible he'll meet this team again and maybe even lose again. But I applaud his coaches for making the game and the love of the game far more important than marks in a win or loss column. If he stays with it, he'll have plenty of time to get the speech about "defeat is not an option." Done right, it may even inspire him to give the extra bit needed to carve out a victory. But for now, it's enough to be able to get a granola bar and a juice box win or lose. |
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| Oct 19 2009, 11:45 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
The expression "possession is nine tenths of the law" certainly applies to soccer. I saw a great example last night at a high school play-off game. The first ranked team in the bracket was playing the 16th ranked team. At half-time the score was 8-0. When the score reached 16 to 0, the winning team stopped trying to score and simply possessed the ball for the last 12 minutes. They gained a great lesson in how to pass accurately, how to turn the ball away from the opponent, how to regain the ball when lost, and how to use the field to their advantage, but at what cost?
The opposing team had the unenviable task of selecting what aspect of the game demoralized them less: the 16 unanswered goals or the 12 minutes they were the victims of keep away. This huge disparity between teams in training and skill usually only happens in high school playoffs. Club tournament directors rate the applicants in order to create brackets containing some parity in skill levels. State leagues have divisions based on past records to insure teams are within a narrow band of proficiency at the sport. College playoffs have teams who earned their slots by winning conference tournaments or having exemplary records. But high school playoffs include every team in the state in that division regardless of experience or ability. So last night the previous year's state champion played a team where many of the members don't play soccer outside of high school. When the difference between two teams is so large it seems humiliating to even conduct the game, but under the state rules this is the way it has to happen. There have to be winners and there have to be losers, but, for certain teams, there's really no way that they will advance. While there were some upsets in the first games of the tournament run, these were between teams much more closely ranked. The particular game I saw had the greatest goal differential, but in looking at today's brackets I saw plenty of 11-0, 9-0 and 13-1 games. One high school team simply forfeited. It couldn't get a team together under those circumstances. Last year the teams from last night's game met, and at halftime with the score 10-0, the game was called, and they all went home. Not putting the score up on the board isn't the answer. It doesn't work for U-8 and U-10 teams, and it works even less for high school teams. Everyone can count. Requiring that teams take all starters off the field once the goal differential hits a certain point gets into the messy situation of telling a coach how to run his or her team. So for several teams the first game of the state tournament competition becomes an exercise in self-control. The higher ranked team has to play restrained for at least a portion of the game and the lower ranked team has to resist the urge to walk off the field and say "forget it." On the upside the higher ranked team can usually afford to allow players who sat on the bench or subbed in for only a few minutes over the season to finally play some extended soccer. It was great when players scored their first goals during that game, giving families a chance to cheer for their sons. And it offers those players who will be stepping up next season to a greater team role the chance to gain experience in the state tournament. But there is little advantage for the lower ranked team. Giving all teams the opportunity to participate in the tournament run seems necessary. Yet it all comes with unpleasant consequences. As one spectator said to me during the game, "I wonder what that team gets out of playing this game." It really got me thinking about how in a victory obsessed culture we can give kids in no-win situations a reason to participate. Competitiveness aside, other factors fit into the big picture when it comes to high school sports. Outmatched teams need to define several achievable objectives to consider the game a success. Parents should reinforce that playing a game with dignity even in defeat shows character. For the winning teams good sportsmanship has to be at the center of these lopsided contests. Fans need to be supportive of all good play, players need to have confidence without being smug, and coaches have to be willing to accept a comfortable, rather than an overwhelming, lead and switch to less aggressive play. With possession comes responsibility. It's up to everyone not to abuse their strengths or surrender to their weaknesses. |
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| Oct 12 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Throw a virtual stone on the internet and you'll hit a tour group ready to provide the international soccer experience for your child. Promoters of these one week to summer long tours made bold claims about what a summer overseas playing soccer can provide a player. Since November to February constitutes the biggest push to sell these tours to clubs, teams, and individuals, it's likely you'll receive a number of brochures slickly produced and definitely enticing. They will tell you that colleges now want players with international playing experience, they will imply that players who don't get the chance to play "real" soccer won't progress very far in the sport, and they will outline the drawbacks of other tours which don't provide proper competition. So wading through all the hype and the options can be difficult. In reality reputable tour companies end up offering about the same experiences for about the same price. Tours will cost $2,500 to $3,000 a person for seven to ten days and should include at minimum airfare, two meals a day, land transport, a day of sightseeing, three friendlies, two training sessions with pro teams, and tickets to at least two professional matches. Most importantly any tour company should supply a 24/7 tour director to oversee the trip and insure the smooth operation of the tour. You should have a contract where everything is spelled out, and you should have trip insurance because you never know what might come up. If you can afford to provide an international soccer trip for your child then by all means do it. America is a soccer neophyte compared to the rest of the world, so there are traditions, attitudes, and style of play that only a foreign nation can provide. Anyone who has attended a professional match in Europe or South America knows how intense the passions run within a certain pageantry and tradition of the game. Players who have the opportunity to play overseas come back with a new found respect of the game and an enthusiasm for playing. Wrap soccer up in the packaging of spectacular scenery and significant historical venues and you have pretty much created the ultimate experience. Soccer clubs might consider establishing a certain age group that takes a soccer trip every year to a specific location. Being able to promise this experience to players can make a club very attractive come tryouts. I would definitely consider having my kids join a club that saw the value in overseas play. Clubs who have the custom of taking teams abroad usually opt for the U-15 or U-16 age levels. Younger ages might not have the maturity or confidence to travel and older ages are focusing on summer jobs and college. Both of my sons had the opportunity to train with English Premier League teams and play friendlies with several English youth teams, and Robbie also traveled to Spain to play friendlies there. Both boys credit these trips as huge eye-openers for how to train and what is required to play at the top levels. Having the chance to see some of their soccer idols play in live matches only added to the experience. A few tour companies are sanctioned by soccer organizations in America such as U.S. Soccer and National Soccer Coaches Association of America. Sanctioning may be construed as an endorsement, but actually means that the opportunities and the training fit with the objectives of these organizations. Nevertheless having some seal of approval certainly indicates the integrity and structure of these tour companies are sound. If an entire team is traveling, most tour companies will offer the 19th or 20th spot on the tour for free both as an inducement to fill up the tour and as a way for coaches to travel with their teams without charging the team for that expense. Many tour companies offer fundraising opportunities so that players or teams can earn additional free trips. These opportunities usually involve selling raffle tickets to win trips with the tour operator or soccer gear provided by the operator. It's a fairly painless way to help offset the costs, and any savings can be passed on to an individual or spread across the entire team. However, if you can't afford to go abroad, there are ways to gain international soccer playing experience here in the United States. Clubs can attend tournaments that have international team entries and request that they get at least one international opponent. They can also register with tour operators to be the clubs that international teams play in friendlies when they tour the U.S. on their soccer trips. Crossing our northern and southern borders to play in tournaments in Canada and Mexico can provide international experience within driving distance. There are a few more hoops to jump through in terms of getting your State Association's approval to attend and in making sure you have player insurance, but these aren't major roadblocks. Clubs can also consider finding a partner club in either Mexico or Canada and doing an exchange where you open your homes to one another. The expense would be limited to travel and gives everyone a chance to get a true flavor of living and playing in one another's countries. While Canada may not seem to be as exotic a destination as Brazil or England, it does offer some exciting sights and some interesting differences in playing styles. Robbie attended a tournament outside of Toronto one summer where we stayed in Niagara Falls and toured the many historic sites in the area. It's one of our most memorable trips. Bottom line remains that overseas play offers any soccer player a richer experience and deeper understanding of the game and its history. But no parents should feel pressured to spend money they don't have just because Jeff or Joan down the street are traveling. At the same time, you might explore with your club about establishing the tradition of traveling as a team every summer between U-15 and U-16 with an eye towards preparing for and financing the trip as a club effort. Families can then begin setting aside $50 a month for the two years preceding the event to help make the financial impact smaller and kids can add their babysitting or lawn mowing money to the mix. It would establish a savings goal for everyone and something exciting to look forward to. If you do go, drink it all in because it will be an amazing trip. |
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| Oct 5 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
When the boys were toddlers they used to squirm around in their car seats as we left the driveway, craning to catch a glimpse of our house as it disappeared around the corner. Then they would ask the same question: Are we coming back here again? Leaving in a car must have felt like leaving on a jet plane – don't know when I'll be back again. If they couldn't see the house, it must have ceased to exist. Once we made our way back into the neighborhood, the boys could barely contain their excitement as the house peeked out between the trees. "Oooh, there's our house!" they giggled with glee. And everything was set straight again until the next errand or trip to the library. Soccer families might feel the same way about their soccer fields. Every time you leave them, you don't really know if you'll see them again. Weather related closures, use by competing groups like lacrosse or football teams, away games, and canceled practices can make those convenient fields just down the street seem like they wandered away to a foreign country. One mother in our club bragged that she was just a two minute drive from the fields. Two months later she was bemoaning the fact her two minute drive was now thirty minutes as practices and games had shifted to another part of town. Clubs who have the privilege of owning their own fields become remarkably protective of them to the point of closing the fields most of the year lest they become damaged. It's like that living room you spent thousands decorating and furnishing, but no one ever sits in there. Even city and town parks are becoming more and more difficult to use as officials look to reduce maintenance. Every time a storm began to brew prior to a Wisconsin Youth Soccer Association Olympic Development Program practice, everyone in the office went into panic mode waiting for the news that the fields we planned to use were closed and scrambling to find alternate fields controlled by less protective overseers. When I managed my sons' teams, I would dread the "fields are closed" phone call because I had to find an alternative for that day, call the referees and direct them to the new site, do likewise with the opposing team, and finally inform my own team and coaches. If I couldn't get a field that day, then the dreaded "rescheduled game" inserted itself in my life like those mucous creatures in the TV ads. Anyone who has tried to reschedule a game knows the hideous helplessness the task creates. To add insult to injury I often had to drive past the pristine but empty fields while headed to that rescheduled game because the opposing team could only reschedule on their fields. One particularly waterlogged spring we practice twice on our home fields and played one game there. I'm not opposed to going to an alternate site; it's just that I based part of my decision about where the boys would play upon the convenience factor of the club's location. My only advice would be to ask where the club plays when it can't play on its own fields. This might seem a silly question, but in locations like Chicago and San Francisco, the alternate fields could be an hour away. Alternate fields could disrupt car pools, interconnected schedules, and time limits. Every parent needs to consider what contingencies the club uses and how the family will adapt to those. The recent floods in the southeast and past flooding such as Katrina add an even uglier dimension to the soccer field saga. In those cases fields may have disappeared altogether. Even if families avoided flood damage of their own personal property, they undoubtedly experienced a complete disruption of their soccer schedules due to flooded fields and flooded routes to practices and games. In those extreme cases, families have far worse concerns than some extra travel on their schedule. As a national soccer community, we should find out what we can do to help those Atlanta and other southeast families get back on track. Dozens of soccer fields at schools, parks, and soccer clubs were submerged and may not be back for the rest of the season. The Georgia State Soccer Association can be reached at gssa@gasoccer.org. While having to move to an alternate field can be aggravating, at least most of us have alternate fields available. And we are lucky enough to have fields to come back to when the weather clears. |
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| Sep 28 2009, 8:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
I knew that I would eventually be rewarded for leaving my autumn foliage stickers on my patio doors. It only took a year but now the transparent gel leaves look stunning against the backdrop of the slowing evolving trees beyond my deck. Usually I change the stickers four times a year to reflect the changing seasons. But this winter we were out of town so I never got the holiday decorations out. We returned to a home destroyed by burst pipes, so we weren't even in the house over spring, and summer was spent getting settled back in. Now here we are back to autumn, and I finally feel in step once again.
I love September. September ranges from the heat and drought of summer through the cool grey and brilliant colors of autumn. Kids begin school, but still fill the waning evenings with play. Families return to the routines they followed for nine months of the year. And youth soccer starts up. So it's fitting that September serves as Youth Soccer Month. Now that the month is winding down, the four features of the month – family, fun, friendship, and fitness – don't just fall away like the leaves. While we celebrate youth soccer in September, we participate in youth soccer year round. Each of these features figure prominently in our lives even outside of soccer. So we should continue to focus on these as the seasons progress.
Soccer is one of many ways for families to share activities and goals (pun intended). Obviously I'm a huge proponent of soccer, but any activity that a family shares can help form strong ties and happy relationships. In fact, parents should bring some of the family experiences from other activities into soccer. I seriously doubt that most of you at a third grade recorder concert shout at the musicians about their tempo and publicly accuse the music teacher of faulty conducting. Instead we watch with great pride, oooh and aaaah over the cute moment when one child puts the recorder up his nose, and applaud loudly at the end. We probably don't discuss the individual players on the way home and suggest ways our son or daughter could be a better player. We don't make such an emotional investment in a music concert, even though it's possible that three or four of those kids will end up with college scholarships in music.
Fun is definitely not limited to soccer. But remembering that what our kids do in life should always have an element of fun means we can bring joy to every activity even school. Again making too big an emotional investment in our child's success can absolutely drain the fun out of anything. We don't need soccer to have fun, but we shouldn't forget fun in the rest of our lives. While we're rushing around trying to fit in soccer practice, homework, dentist appointments, jobs, meals, and sleep try to fit in a bit of fun – car games, sing-alongs on the way to events, a detour to get an ice cream, playing Frisbee before a game, green milk for St. Patrick's Day.
The friendships we develop through soccer should be just one collection of the many friends we make throughout life. Kids have so many interests and those interests change often over the years, so it's important to nurture friendships within those interests. Soccer may be replaced by another sport or activity, but the friendships developed with teammates can last beyond the change if they have more than soccer in common. Likewise friendships outside of soccer can give kids a wider perspective on life. Because soccer is a huge passion for our family, many of the boys' enduring friendships have come out of soccer, but they also have strong connections to kids who never had an interest in any sport.
Fitness can be both physical and mental. Physical fitness naturally comes from playing a sport, but can be part of a non-sport routine as well. Having children bike or walk to school and lessons will give them several hours a week of aerobic exercise. Even more importantly giving kids an hour a day just for random outdoor play can do more for both physical and mental fitness than any organized sport. That one hour a day of unstructured activity gives kids a chance to relax their minds and exercise their hearts and muscles. It also gives them a chance to be with friends, have some fun, and enjoy their families. Those three principles contribute to good mental fitness. Strong families who have fun and enjoy supportive friendships impact their child's mental health positively.
While autumn will dissolve into winter with shorter days and for many of us cold, grey months, we can use the cornerstones of Youth Soccer Month to bring substance to our lives. We love soccer in our family, so we have many of our activities and interests centered around soccer. But we don't need soccer in the same way we need our family, fun, friendships, and fitness. The true measure of our children's growth isn't being a soccer superstar. It's becoming a strong, capable, happy adult. These four soccer month principles contribute to their growth and can support them throughout their lives. Celebrating youth soccer serves as a conduit to both growing the sport and growing a strong generation of children. |
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| Sep 14 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Our eight year old neighbor informed me yesterday that it was only 29 school days until teacher convention break. There have only been seven days of school so far. This type of countdown to vacation preoccupies most students who attend any type of school. I had one of my college students, who can't seem to remember an assignment deadline, correct me about the dates of the mid-semester holiday without even referencing his calendar. Yet depressingly Americans don't take advantage of their time off. Every year Expedia does a vacation depravation survey which, depending on your point of view, Americans either ace or fail miserably. We get the fewest number of paid vacation days a year, thirteen, and even then we leave three of those days on the table. Of the nations surveyed, America comes in the lowest, meaning that we are the best at depriving ourselves of vacations.
French workers get 38 paid days of vacation a year. Germans get 27 while Britain has 26. Austria, Spain, Italy, and New Zealand average in the 20s, while Australia and Canada get nineteen days. Japan gets fifteen days a year, but 92% leave an average of seven days on the table. The only reason they aren't the worst vacationers is that they power vacation, meaning when they travel, they go for a week or more and travel outside the country. What I have noticed is that those countries with twenty or more vacation days also have intense soccer fever. Laugh if you want, but I'm thinking they have grown to depend on those extended vacation days so they can follow their beloved teams or attend UEFA Cup or even the World Cup without making a huge dent in their vacation time. Given our nation's woeful vacation history and our burgeoning, but not yet fully realize, interest in soccer, perhaps there's a way to make soccer work for family vacation time in America. While those families with players on traveling teams obviously have an immediate and necessary vacation excuse, any soccer family should be able to combine vacation time with their soccer schedule. Use the sport as your vacation portal. This Saturday, for example, my grandson has a game in Poynette, Wisconsin (pop. 2,300) about thirty miles north of Madison. At first blush the possibility of doing anything vaguely family vacation oriented seems unreasonable in a small town. But with the power of the internet you'd be amazed what a family can find. If you're going to drive to play a game, you might as well find somewhere fun to eat and visit. Check the Chamber of Commerce, your state's recreation department and tourism bureau, or just put the town's name in your search engine and see what appears. Poynette it seems is home to the MacKenzie Environmental Center, a 250 acre nature preserve with trails, a fire tower, three museums, maple sugaring demonstrations in the spring, and a large picnic grounds. There are herds of buffalo, packs of wolves, flocks of birds including bald eagles, and abundant smaller wildlife all visible from trails. So after the game we'll head over and spend the afternoon having a walk amongst nature and if the weather holds out a picnic as well. This is free of charge, although donations are always welcome. Rather than rush up to a game and then rush home, families can extend their time together with some creative planning and limited expense. Not every vacation has to include a cartoon mouse and twenty story thrill rides. More importantly, every vacation doesn't need to be longer than a few hours of family togetherness in order to recharge the batteries. Look upon soccer as an opportunity to create an adventure. While you might not independently travel to see the chicken who always wins at Tic-Tac-Toe, you might take a five minute side trip on the way home from a game. The books "Off the Beaten Path" written for a number of states offer some great surprises. They emphasize the finds on the back roads nearby many of the small towns and fields you'll be visiting as you play league games or even tournaments. Taking time out to do a corn maze or see a Hopi Indian Village can take some of the stress out of preparing for a game or having to travel for a while. It doesn't have to be long – it can be as short as a stop to get some homemade ice cream from an old time soda fountain. But having the family discover it and plan it jointly adds even more family time together. For really young players you might consider doing planning together as a team. Sometimes large families have to be three places at once so you can't plan something for every game, but the team could plan things to do together. Given the internet savvy of kids, teams could even assign a town to each player to research and find something fun for everyone to do when in town. It could be something they do for fun or a place to eat or picnic. On one trip to Iowa, we were introduced to Maid-Rite by a team member's mother who grew up in Iowa. Maid-Rite is ground beef cooked in boiling water that is dished out onto a bun and garnished with whatever you want. It's kind of like a dry Sloppy Joe. But it's good, and we would have never thought to eat there because in truth it sounds like a cleaning service. If we can't get 38 vacation days like the French, we can use American ingenuity to carve more days out for ourselves by crafting mini-vacations. Rather than dissecting the game on the trip home, you can hop out at a fruit stand and dissect a few apples. Rather than dwelling on a tough loss, you can relax at a trout farm catching dinner. Instead of dreading the drive back, you can break it up with a stop to see the world's largest rubber band ball. They aren't things you'd ask Expedia to reserve for you, but given the next Expedia survey you might be boosting America's score. |
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| Sep 8 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Here's a tale of two games. In game one, the kids begin with a serious sit down session with the coach who critiques the last game and voices the expectations for this game. Warm-ups consist of precision drills under the coach's watchful eye. Any mistakes and the drills stop abruptly to make corrections and point out failures. When the game begins, the parents prowl the sidelines barking instructions at the players. The coach likewise paces the opposite sideline always yelling out some direction or disfavor, and occasionally engaging the referee about a call.
At half time the team gathers in the corner of the field for an intense coaching session. When the game restarts the team is scored against immediately and the floodgates of disapproval open with a vengeance. At the end of the game, having won by a goal, the players get reminded of their mental lapse early in the second half and how it nearly cost the team a win. The players cross the field to their parents with heads hung low. On the ride home, they get advice on how they could play better next week. In game two the kids arrive and immediately begin shooting balls into the net. After a few minutes the coach gathers them for a jumping jack exercise where they chant "Up, down, don't frown." Parents set up on the sidelines and unfurl a banner reading "Go Tigers!" Each parent has a pom pom and wears a ribbon with their player's name and number. During the game the parents only cheer and all have a good laugh when one team member takes a hearty swipe at the ball in front of the goal, only to miss the ball completely and end up bottom-down in the box. The coach stands and occasionally reminds the team of their positions, and of how they should be passing. When a player comes out of the game, the coach gives a high five and a pat on the back. When a foul is called on a player, the coach says; "That's okay. Just remember not to push." At half time, the team meets briefly and then returns to the field for some shooting and passing. At the end of the game, having lost by a goal, the coach congratulates them on a game well played, has them shake hands with the opposing team and the referees, and then sends them across the field running to their parents who greet them with cheers and a parent tunnel. During the trip home talk turns to ice cream and what they'll do in the afternoon. As you might have guessed, these were opposing teams in the same game. In one case, the coach and parents set the wrong tone. I'm sure they meant well, still they fell into the trap of believing that intensity equals improvement. But consider this, if you found out that your son's or daughter's teacher spent most of the day just yelling at the kids about their poor performance or poor behavior, you'd be mortified. If those same teachers invited parents into the classroom once a week to stand over the kids and criticize them as they worked, you'd consider the teacher unprofessional. Yet somehow we've been brainwashed to believe that's the way sports should go. Coaches should be gruff and unforgiving and parents should be critical. Who learns like that? Imagine if Oscar the Grouch was the only character on Sesame Street. I doubt the show would have lasted 40 years. Kids need humor, fun, encouragement and support to learn, whether they're grasping the alphabet or dribbling. Don't we all feel good when we can smile and laugh? These years of youth soccer should create some of your best memories. What you bring to the game dictates what you take from a game. If everything spills out negative you can't expect to have that warm fuzzy feeling later. You make a huge difference in how your child, and even how the team, views the sport. Encourage parents to find ways to make the practices and games fun. Kids should respect the work ethic of learning how to be better soccer players, but they can work and have fun. Even the seven dwarfs managed to whistle on their way down into the mine. Plan team surprises, nominate players to be the boy or girl of the match, reward good practices and attendance at practice, celebrate things together as a team such as birthdays, Columbus Day, first day of fall and spring, anniversary of the first college soccer game, and other events that will both entertain and educate. Organize a trip to a high school, college or professional game. Volunteer the team to be ball boys and girls for a local high school. Scrimmage parents vs. kids. Don't make it all about winning and losing. Let the kids know that you love soccer as much as they do and that your greatest joy is watching them play. If soccer is life, remember that life is short. Relish every moment. If some of that good humor and positive energy spills into high school and college soccer, that would be awesome. Let the kids develop their intensity for the game over time, but on the sidelines and in your heart, leave some room for joy. Statistically kids laugh 500 times a day, but adults only 15 times. How cool would it be if statisticians had to add an asterisk to that fact: *soccer parents laugh 40 times a day especially while watching practices and games. I'm challenging all of you to keep having fun, keep laughing and keep positive for as long as possible. Let's have people recognize soccer parents by their pronounced laugh lines! |
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| Aug 31 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Conservatively there are over 900 men's college soccer programs taking into account NCAA's Divisions I, II and III and the NAIA. Women have over 650 college soccer programs in the same group. Add to this mix the Christian College Conference, Junior Colleges, and a host of independent college soccer programs and you'll end up with nearly double the numbers. Assuming that colleges need to fill around six spots on their teams each year, you end up with close to 10,000 male and 7,500 female soccer players needed each year to fill the college soccer ranks. Therefore, if your son or daughter wants to play college soccer, chances are he or she can. The trick is finding the right fit with the coach, the school, and the major. Plus you can't just leap into this search in the summer between sophomore and junior years in college and expect to come out at the end with a roster spot. You need a plan, and you need to initiate it in your child's freshman year. More importantly, you need your soccer club to help your player find the right program. College searches usually begin just before or during the junior year, but to find a college where a student can also play soccer requires earlier planning. A great place to start is on the major amateur athletic Web sites: www.ncaa.org (National College Athletic Association), www.naia.org (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics), www.nccaa.org (National Christian College Athletic Association), and www.njcaa.org (National Junior College Athletic Association). These Web sites list all the college soccer programs, links to these programs, and information on qualification requirements. As you look through these lists, consider issues of in-state vs. out of state, school size, academic rigor, and successful soccer programs. Create your own list of up to 50 schools with a variety of options. Research the schools' academic and athletic programs so that you can narrow down your search to a dozen. Then write to the soccer coaches and request an unofficial visit as soon as you can. These visits can help you narrow down your choices even further since the coaches can be very frank with your family about the possibility of joining the soccer team and your player can see if he or she feels comfortable with both the coach and the campus. Stay in contact with the coaches you meet because that's the way you let them know that you are truly interested in the program. Send emails after a game to congratulate the team on a strong victory or to commiserate with them over an unexpected defeat. All of this research and all of these visits will do you no good if the coaches don't have an opportunity to see players in action. Here's where your club is of utmost importance. If your son or daughter is playing in a select club, you should expect the following from your club. First, they should be taking the team to the best soccer showcases they can enter beginning with U-14 for girls and with U-15 for boys. You should attend one or two showcases the first year and then at least three in the following years. Second, your club should have a Web site with player profiles that coaches can access through a password, and your club should be printing off a booklet of profiles to hand out to college coaches at the tournaments. Third, your club should hold college recruiting seminars every spring and fall and provide an excel spreadsheet to every player of regional colleges with coaches' email addresses set up as links. Fourth, prior to every tournament, the club will receive a list of college coaches who have registered to be in attendance. They should pass that list on to the players in the form of another spreadsheet with linked email addresses so players can invite coaches to come to their games. Fifth, when asked, your coach should be able to provide for you a letter of recommendation. Sixth, your team manager or a designated parent should be keeping statistics of every game so that you will have an easily accessed record of both the team's accomplishments and individual player accomplishments. Finally your club should have strong contacts with local college coaches facilitating conversations about potential recruits from the club. Your club should be "selling" your son or daughter every opportunity it has. Too many clubs neglect the next step that a player can take in soccer. They fail to realize that part of development is helping the player move forward beyond the club. On the other hand, most clubs recognize the marketing value of a player who moves on to college soccer as evidenced by such listings on their Web sites. Some clubs just aren't willing to make the investment necessary to assist all interested players in getting to the next level. It's a shame because so many good players end up abandoning their soccer careers at high school graduation or praying that a walk-on tryout will result in a roster spot. Given the numbers, playing college soccer can be a very real possibility for many kids. Division I soccer could be difficult to attain, but terrific opportunities exist at Division II and III as well as through other college and junior college athletic associations. However, you'll need good planning, perseverance, and strong support from your club. Don't be shy about asking what the club is willing to do for your player and don't be shy about encouraging the club to do more. They are the conduit through which your player may or may not pass into college soccer. A club's neglect of this conduit shouldn't be acceptable. If they want to list the players who move on to college soccer, then they need to be willing to provide the support to make it happen. |
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| Aug 24 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Happy soccer gremlins will soon be clamoring for those after practice and after game snacks that parents agree to supply. Snacks once consisted of a bag of orange quarters and a jug of water. I don't know about any of you, but I'm the mom who realizes on the way to practice that she signed up for snacks that day. I really think that's why oranges and water became so popular. I, and others like me, could leave the engine running in the grocery parking lot, grab the bag of Clementines and the gallon of water, and be back on the way to the fields before the boys had finished tying their cleats. But slowly the tide turned and oranges and water simply screamed, "This woman doesn't plan ahead." Here's the deal. Snacks need to be nutritional, cost effective, delicious, and avoid common childhood allergies like nuts. Oranges and water fit those criteria, but they didn't fit the final and possibly most important criterion – snacks need to have a "wow" factor. Somewhere along the line responsible, thoughtful, prepared moms and dads started baking muffins, packing Gogurts in coolers, distributing full granola bars, providing individual boxes of natural cereal, and otherwise making snack time into a Top Chef competition. My bag of oranges opened on the hood of my car being sliced with a 1" pocket knife attached to my nail clippers didn't fit into the epicurean banquet other parents provided. Navigating this snack track can be tricky for those of us who don't visit the gourmet snack aisle and who have to use the circuit breaker to turn our ovens on and off. I would bake. I really would. But every time I turn the oven on the timer beeper screeches continually. So obviously I can't leave the oven on for the length of time it takes to heat up and then to bake. Our dogs can't take the high-pitched agony. So I moved from oranges to fruit snacks and from water to juice boxes. They aren't fancy, but at least they have their own packaging, which seems to be a part of the current snack requirements. The only advice I can give any new soccer parent is let your own kids guide you. I'm amazed at how acutely even four and five year old kids have their fingers on the pulse of coolness. While I thought animal cracker boxes would be an ideal snack, my boys nixed that misconception. "What? Do you think we're three?" I have learned that the more bizarre the snack, the better, especially for boys. In other words regular fruit roll ups won't cut it, but fluorescent green alien roll ups pass the test. Square juice boxes send out nerd vibes, but wax bottles or foil packs get the thumbs up. Grapes seem to muster approval, as do bananas on occasion. I do get confused as to when bananas are an appropriate offering. I've been known to bring home bunches of bananas only to be told, "You can't bring those to practice!" When I ask why not I merely get the eye roll that says, "You'll never understand." It appears to be a generational thing. I once brought a box of popcorn balls to an indoor tournament which got lots of positive feedback except from the mother who was a dentist. Undeterred I have gone the popcorn ball route a few other times. I don't make the popcorn balls. That would require far too much planning and creating. But I was fortunate enough to get in on a "20 popcorn balls for $5" special at my grocery store right after Halloween. I have learned that popcorn balls never expire. In the future we are guaranteed that cockroaches, Twinkies, and popcorn balls will survive, although only one can be considered an appropriate soccer snack. |
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| Aug 17 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Today I decided to clean my stove. I'm expecting several groups of visitors over the next few weeks, so I felt the pressure to give the top a good cleaning. I've had this stove for 19 years, and I will probably have it another 19 despite the fact that on HGTV people are enthusiastically remodeling kitchens that I would consider an upgrade just as they are. So I got out my scrubbing pad, cleanser, and lint-free cloth for what I thought would be a 15 minute job. 90 minutes later I was done, unless you count the fact that the self-cleaning oven still had two hours to go.
The cleaning turned into a terrible virus infecting my behavior. As I scrubbed the burners I noticed that the entire unit lifted out. Underneath lurked an accumulation of scraps, grease, and dust not to mention baked on globs along the sides. As I dug into that pit, my feverish swirls of cleanser spilled over to the vent between the burners and the grill (yes, I have a grill, so you can imagine where this will lead). I lifted up the vent cover and discovered a filter that was surprisingly not too bad – I must have cleaned it within the year – but it hid a canyon smudged with more grease and crumbs. That carried me over to the grill, a tangle of charcoal plates, heating elements, drain pan, and grill covers. I also decided what the heck and started the self-cleaning oven. As I washed the charcoal plates in my white porcelain sink I left black streaks that I had to scrub up later, and then when I carried the filthy cloth over to the washer I noticed that the machine could do with a wipe down of its own. I tell this story because while I was cleaning I had lots of time to ruminate on the world, my life, dreams of winning the lottery, and soccer. I came to a realization: Cleaning my stove parallels youth soccer involvement. You begin with your son or daughter in a group of four and five year olds who can barely kick the ball and are directionally challenged when it comes to which goal they should be charging. And you end up with your children on a traveling team so it comes down to a new stove or a trip to North Carolina. With insidious cunning soccer draws us from burners to burner wells to filters to grills to sinks to washing machines while we still await the completion of the self-cleaning oven. I didn't need to so wholeheartedly clean my stove. But I wanted to see if I could get it looking nearly new again, and I did. So I had a goal that was driving me to continue. The same is true for those who move ever more steadily to the higher levels of soccer with its increased demands and costs. If it's something your child wants to do and shows the commitment to do it, then hop on board and enjoy the ride. If you like the way things are going and don't want more, then by all means don't get sucked into higher levels of soccer just for the prestige element of being on a select team. While I don't mean to suggest that only the very best and most dedicated soccer players should play select, I do want to leave the door open for the possibility that not every player should get on the select train. Even very athletic and gifted children opt for recreational soccer because their real love is baseball or swimming. They want the experience of playing, love to play, but have another course in mind when it comes to pursuing advanced levels of sport. I succumbed to the pressure to polish up my stove, but I could have just as easily said I'd do it another day. Lord knows I've been good at that over the last 19 years. My visitors might have whispered a few comments about the dirty stove, or they might never have noticed. Either way, I would still be the same person. Many of the fans of the game never seriously played the game. That's true of every sport. As parents we need to figure out why we have our kids on a team. If our sons and daughters have a real passion and talent for the game, then it makes sense to give in to that select journey. If they want to continue playing with their friends and can make the team, then by all means they should do it. When Bryce's team dissolved between U14 and U-15 the coach of the recreational team in our club offered Bryce a spot. We considered it for awhile. Robbie was still playing in the same club, it would let Bryce stay with some of his friends, and it would hardly cost anything. As we talked it over the next few days it became clear that Bryce was hesitant to join this team. He had his eye on college soccer and he felt that this would create a stumbling block to his goal. So we turned the coach down and spent the next four months searching for a select team. The decision was driven by Bryce and in the end it was the right decision. My analogy does break down in one aspect. Unless you are Martha Stewart or Mr. Clean the job I did this morning can be satisfying but hardly joyful and devoid of anything you would want to remember, unlike soccer which brings our family great joy and lots of good memories. However, like my cleaning, we started out thinking that soccer would be simple - something the boys could do with the neighborhood kids that would fill a few hours with exercise and activity. Then progressively it became one of the predominant pursuits in our family. We were lucky because we embraced the increased level of commitment. Not everyone does. Not everyone should because happily other options exist in youth soccer to satisfy varying levels of participation. Youth Soccer Month is coming up in September. As we approach the activities of the month we need to consider that despite the heavy emphasis on select soccer, youth soccer embraces all levels of competition and involvement. Every child who wants to play the game should be able to play. Every community should strive to provide soccer for everyone's interests and skills. I've been pleased to see that tournaments have been created just for recreational teams, giving them the experience of travel and regional competition without the same stresses and demands. Ultimately it comes down to making the best choices for our children and our families. We can hop on the soccer train but we need to figure out how far we'll go. |
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| Aug 10 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Today I heard the song "Charlie Brown" while eating lunch and one line struck me. After the chorus, a baritone voice intones, "Why is everybody always picking on me?" I know soccer players feel that way more times than they care to admit. They get told what to do, what they did wrong, what they could have done, why they can't live up to expectations, and when they should just get lost – often all in the same sentence. Sometimes the criticism comes in the form of well-intentioned enthusiastic involvement from fans and teammates and sometimes it's just mean spirited bullying. The results are confusion, self-doubt, and frustration. I've watched pint-sized players spin their heads around like they were auditioning for "The Exorcist." The coach on the sidelines barks an order, grandpa on the opposite sideline offers his take on the situation, dad behind the net suggests an alternative theory, and Penny running towards the goal issues her own request. By the time little Jenny filters everything through her brain and tries to do what she feels is the right move, the moment has passed and a whole new retinue of commands have been issued. How can six-year-old Derrick possibly know what to do when it is raining instruction? He ends up taking two steps forward, two steps back, and never doing anything other than look panicked. While we all mean well with our "encouraging words," we actually end up contributing to a bunch of white noise. Once we recognize how we are creating confusion we can censor ourselves and focus on more generalized support such as "great job" and "way to go." But unfortunately some of the sideline comments dissolve into belittling. This denigration could be classified as bullying because it elicits the same response in those player recipients. We are so used to shouting at the TV or anonymously in a baseball stadium of 45,000 that we forget the things we bellow on the sidelines can be heard by the players who aren't seasoned professionals hardened to comments and financially compensated for their participation. These are young kids with developing egos who want to please and worry they are failures if they can't. Parents tearing down a kid can cause great harm. One of Robbie's friends left a team because a teammate's father tore into him so often and so vehemently that he just couldn't play any longer in those circumstances. His coach tried to help, but he couldn't be on both sides of the field. Despite numerous requests to tone it down, this dad seemed unable to. The best control can come from other parents who talk to offenders and get them to see the error of their ways. We all have a responsibility to protect the kids on the field especially those who aren't yet in high school. It's not just adults who have a problem. A player can become a bully if he or she doesn't feel a teammate is fulfilling his or her responsibilities on the field. Someone may end up picking on a player on the field and then continue the abuse off the field as well. Such behavior needs to be dealt with. Coaches should clearly establish the boundaries for team banter and they need to adamantly oppose any sort of bullying. As parents we need to listen to our children to hear any evidence of being bullied or being a bully and then we need to address it. Young players get influenced by the frenzy to win that they experience watching professional teams in the company of their parents. They want to find a scapegoat if the team isn't doing well, so a player could be targeted. While support from the fans creates a positive atmosphere for a team, it's probably more important that the players have a positive attitude with one another. For young players teammates are also friends, so the ramifications of being bullied extend beyond practices and games. When a game goes badly it's natural for frustrations bubble to the surface. None of us are perfect, but we can all aspire to be better. As players get older and games count more for things like the US Youth Soccer National Championship Series and high school championships and tournament trophies the positive comments get peppered with criticism and "suggestions." With older teams, the players are more serious about the sport and often have aspirations beyond high school, so they will face more and more of the fan reactions pro players get. But we do need to be respectful of our youngest players and keep it positive. Rather than a melancholy refrain, we should be hearing, "I'm glad everybody's always supporting me." |
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| Aug 3 2009, 10:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Right now I am on an extended road trip which is ranging farther than any soccer trip we have made. On the plus side we are seeing parts of the country we have previously only flown over. On the down side we are trapped in a car for long stretches of time traveling through long empty expanses of landscape. All too often an exit sign will have as an auxiliary notice "no services for 106 miles." During a particularly desolate part of our journey in Utah the check engine light came on. Those of you who have followed my blog for awhile know that I had a Toyota van which I drove for three and a half years with the check engine light blazing. So with the hubris of experience, we continued on our journey on roads that rose from elevations of 2000 feet to 9000 feet and back down along long twists of no service. We assumed it was a faulty gas cap since we had just gotten gas when the light came on. According to the service book we had either put in the wrong type of gas (we didn't), or driven through a deep mud puddle shorting the electrical (it was 111 degrees out so that wasn't likely), or had a leaky gas cap. Upon arriving in Las Vegas we took the car to a dealership where the mechanic also said, "Oh, it's just your gas cap. Give it a few cycles of readings to reset." And he was ready to send us on our way, but I asked if they had time to run the electronic diagnostic. An hour later we discovered that the clutch had burned out and by some act of mercy had not failed in the high plains desert. So after a day of repairs, we were ready to set out again. Technically this qualifies as a soccer trip because I am delivering Robbie to college to play. So a lot of the same standards I have set for making soccer trips held true. Since many of you will be departing soon for those late summer/early fall tournaments I'll just highlight some of the things you'll want to be sure to have in your car. I put these in a box that I can easily take out of the car if I want to leave it in the garage and which I can quickly pack into the car when the trips demand. Be sure you have toilet paper and paper towels. Believe me you'll thank me for this suggestion when you are faced with a row of portable toilets devoid of paper. Pack some wet ones preferably with alcohol for disinfecting. A good first aid kit can't be neglected which includes scissors, tape, a roll of gauze, and a finger splint besides band-aids, cortisone cream, pain relievers, anti-bacterial, rubber gloves, and cotton swabs. Include extra shin guards, shorts, underwear, and socks. Add a small pump and extra needles. Bring black and red electrical tape to change or add numbers on the back of shirts. Drop one or two small umbrellas in the corners of the box. Complete your kit with sunscreen and bug spray. I also throw in some brimmed hats to help when the parents' sideline faces directly into the sun. For later in the season and for the spring, you'll want to include a blanket and some plastic bags to line the car floor and to collect muddy uniforms. Bring lots and lots of water. I'm trying to wean myself from bottled water for the sake of the environment, so you might want to fill a few metal water bottles at home or bring a gallon jug of water to fill bottles at the fields. As some of you also know, I am always on the hunt for the perfect soccer chair. My last purchase was a chair that included a roof. During this past spring I kept very dry even during some rough downpours. But last week while leafing through a catalog I came across a chair where the seat was heated! It was a folding aluminum chair with a small side table for setting drinks and cell phones and on the opposite arm hung a bag with a multitude of pockets for books, programs, and odds and ends. Alas it lacked a roof, but a golf umbrella would fix that. All I would have to do is charge the chair up the night before and it would keep the charge for four hours. It also came with a car charger so I could refresh it while driving. I may order it once I get back home. That is if I survive this trip. I still have to make it three quarters of the way back across America and there are plenty of moving parts on the car that can break down. This is my way of saying that no matter how much you prepare, the unexpected shoots down your preparations. I had a mechanic go over the car two nights before we left, but there was no way he could check the clutch. No matter how big your soccer box grows it will never cover every problem. So you have to latch on to the positives and forgive yourself for not having infallible foresight. Despite the crises of this trip, we have also made some special memories. Coming out of the Rockies we descended through Glenwood Canyon, where the space to place the freeway was so narrow, they had to construct a viaduct with the westbound traffic on top where the views were. So we lucked out on some spectacular sight-seeing. We also stopped in Utah at an off the road viewpoint to discover an amazing hidden canyon and huge red ripples of stone rising thousands of feet from the valley below us. Robbie ventured down to the edge of the canyon while I resisted the urge to say "that's far enough." He discovered a huge Utah Banded Gecko (we looked it up that night on the internet) that had bright orange and pink speckles. Outside of Denver we stopped at a restaurant for lunch and as we were leaving the restaurant a voice shouts, "Hey, Robbie Boyd!" A classmate from his high school in Milwaukee Wisconsin was eating lunch there with his parents. Now that's as serendipitous as you get - and a good conversation generator for several miles down the road. |
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| Jul 27 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
As belts tightened across the nation, soccer clubs are no more immune to budget concerns than any family or organization. Most clubs operated on a thin margin of financial viability even in boom times, so they acutely feel the pinch now. You'll hear the mantra of "loyalty" more incessantly than ever as clubs try to maintain membership and to attract more members. Unfortunately loyalty from the club's perspective is a one-way obligation and families who have given years of service to a club can find their sons and daughters cut from their teams when select tryouts are complete. Ironically loyalty is a fickle concept. Coaching directors brush off any criticism with "that's the way it is in the world of soccer." They are correct as far as professional clubs go. But this is youth soccer without paid contracts, sports agents, and back room negotiations. Soccer teams provide more than just a place to train and hopefully win. They provide a social center where parents feel strongly connected. Being cut from a team can be like being ostracized from a community. Youth clubs need to both expect and honor loyalty by being loyal themselves or they need to accept they can't offer loyalty in return so stop demanding it from their players and families. All too often youth clubs only want the pendulum to swing one direction. Loyal, but unskilled players rarely get consideration for their loyalty. On the swing side we all know the "star" player who misses practices, whose family rarely volunteers, and who bad-mouths the players and the coach, yet starts every game. Under the umbrella of loyalty, families expect fairness, they expect that the rules will apply to every player, and they expect some consideration for their loyalty. But youth clubs continue to apply the professional standard to their choices exposing loyal members to dismissal, while expecting members to accept the risk they may be cut, blindly stay true in the name of loyalty until then and not pursue better opportunities when they come up. If clubs want to operate like professional teams bumping off players without consideration to their loyalty, then they have to accept the converse: that every day professional players defect from the club that nurtured them, gave them the biggest salary, and put up with their shenanigans. When another club dangles a more lucrative contract, loyalty flies out the window. Kids read and hear about this all the time, so they know how the real world works. It should be no surprise to youth clubs when a player leaves for his or her own reasons since these same clubs are willing to cut a kid when it serves their purposes. US Youth Soccer and local State Associations have attempted to put in rules that will temper this cut-throat atmosphere. But every rule has a thousand loopholes that clubs have expertly learned to maneuver. For example there's the rule that coaches can't recruit players in the weeks preceding tryouts. The reality is that recruiting happens all the time, just not directly by the coaches. Robbie got hand-written personal invitations from parents of players in other clubs asking him to consider trying out and touting the club's accomplishments. While the notes were clearly following a template created by someone in the club no one could fault the club for a recruiting violation. After all this was just a proud parent exercising his or her right to free speech! Even players will approach other players after a game in an attempt to get them to consider joining their team, a tactic that works much better if the recruiting team beats the player's team. And players on their own decide to make a switch without any recruiting happening at all. One family on Robbie's first select team was subjected to threats of a lawsuit because they "defected" and were made to endure dozens of phone calls asking them to admit that the player was recruited illegally when the kid actually left because he couldn't get along with one player. All this anger and politics seem unfitting for youth soccer. In Wisconsin players have three days to consider an offer from a team, but most coaches will demand an answer the minute they call the player. Coaches will play the loyalty card stating that if the player "really wanted to play for this club" there would be no hesitation. Anxious players, faced with the possibility of not having a team, usually succumb to the pressure and agree immediately even if they are waiting on another team's offer. Coaches will attempt to limit where a player tries out by threatening that if a player doesn't show up for all days of try outs she forfeits the opportunity to play for the club. Players are supposed to be free to try out for any and all teams they want, but the reality is that they put their eggs in one basket because of intimidation. Naturally, most top players don't face intimidation because clubs recognize those players have the power to pick and choose. So the equity that the rules attempt to create doesn't exist. Loyalty to a club can be a noble concept, but turns out to be impractical as players make different decisions about their soccer future. Robbie's first club team still contains a few players from the original group, while Bryce's first club team completely dissolved at Under-15. Anything can happen with a team, so ultimately families need to decide what's best for them and for their children. There should be no rancor over making a change because change happens naturally in the course of life. In the case of soccer, players seek different opportunities such as less travel or tougher competition. Players may move because of the "grass is greener" belief or they may move because they want to be with friends. Clubs have no compunction about cutting a player, so families should have no guilt about leaving. Be true to your own ideals and family. Life is too short to sacrifice your own future to the questionable promises and demands of loyalty. |
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| Jul 20 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
I'm not a duster, I don't do windows, and I hate vacuuming stairs, but I despise clutter even more. So my Martha Stewart talent is organizing. Every item in the house has a particular location. It's not exactly the Dewey Decimal System, but it does allow me to rapidly guide someone to an item or swiftly put my hands on it myself. However if people don't replace items exactly where they belong my system breaks down. Its fatal flaw takes the form of two sons and one husband, who expect me to know instantly where jackets, pencils, wallets, and car keys can be found, but steadfastly refuse to "reshelve" their products properly. If I was the only one in the house I could find a particular DVD in less than 10 seconds. But when Bryce asked if we had "All the President's Men" and I answered "Yes" I had no idea that this would lead to two hours of mucking through drawers, digging under couches, peering behind bookcases, and looking in more and more bizarre locations until finding it in the bathroom in the cupboard with the towels. Don't ask because I have no idea why it was there. So it is little wonder that all my efforts to be organized about soccer have limited success. My initial idea was to organize uniforms into various backpacks. By the time the boys were 10, I already had to keep track of three different soccer teams for each of them, not to mention baseball and basketball team gear. Eventually the number swelled to five soccer teams – club team, indoor team, summer city league, Super Y League, and US Youth Soccer Olympic Development (US Youth Soccer ODP). I have shelves in the mudroom to hold the various backpacks and whenever I washed the uniforms they were packed away immediately in the appropriate bag. Cleats were stored on a shoe rack hung on the wall. Extra socks went into a box under the shelves. However, this organizational utopia disintegrated in a seismic wave of indifference to the rules. In a domino effect of obliteration, each case of disorganization disrupted the entire system. Should one boy be asked to spend the night with a friend he would need an overnight bag. Never mind he already had an overnight bag because naturally it was stuffed in some dark recess of the closet or the garage or under the bed. So in a rush of expediency he would grab one of his soccer backpacks and dump it out. The uniforms ended up like so much flotsam and jetsam bobbing on the sea of clothes covering his bedroom floor. Later I would discover the bag on the mudroom floor and replace it on the shelf. Then he would grab the bag for US Youth Soccer ODP practice. As he rushed to get dressed on arrival we would discover a wad of dirty clothes, the Game Boy he had been missing for a week, a soggy bag of chips, and no US Youth Soccer ODP shirts. Cleats that should have been hanging on the rack seemingly sprouted legs and skittered like giant centipedes into the darkest, dankest, most undiscoverable corners of the house or car. The box full of socks held no pairs but plenty of mismatched and holey stockings. Our panicked scramble to find what we needed for any given event or game never seemed to disappear despite all my admonishments on how we could avoid this scene. On average the system worked about 20% of the time which I grew to accept as an admirable result. The other day I was digging through some boxes in the basement. These were my privately organized clear plastic boxes labeled and complete. I was searching for a particular photo that I wanted to put in a new frame I'd received as a gift. Once I located the proper box and lowered it to the basement floor I knew immediately that it wasn't right. This box should have held stacks of photos organized by year and event, but I could see something decidedly not photographic at the top of the box. When I opened it I discovered two SYL team jerseys that we had had to replace despite days of searching. How they worked their way down to the basement and into the box of photos will remain a mystery, although I suspect it had something to do with needing to clean the basement quickly and finding an expedient, albeit inappropriate hidden storage spot. I will validate that theory sometime in the future when I find a pair of missing shoes in the box with maps and a missing MP3 player in the box with collectible magazines. In reality organization ends up being about never losing anything. In that area I suspect I am close to 100%. The trick will be to discover where items have drifted, retrieve them, and return them to their rightful place. After cleaning out Bryce's room this summer I made huge progress in my success rate having discovered thirty plus DVDs, the charger for my cell phone, a box of game cartridges, and various missing utensils and glasses. Over time these items will once again begin to disappear, but for a few weeks I can pat myself on the back that I know right where to find "All the President's Men." |
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| Jul 13 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
I don't believe much in statistics. As an undergraduate math minor I assisted a professor in proofing her textbook on probability and statistics. I'm well aware of the various statistical measures a researcher can use to create a favorable or unfavorable statistical result. Surveys can be carefully constructed to elicit skewed responses. Would you rather have a warehouse store in your neighborhood or a prisoner half-way house? Surprise! Survey shows overwhelming support for the construction of Costco. Or a political ad might go something like this: Joe Smith would be a powerful law and order district attorney because as a prosecutor he has had less than two per cent of his convictions overturned on appeal. What they fail to tell you is that his conviction rate is only one per cent. So when someone tells me what the numbers say, I'm naturally skeptical. Those experts reading trends, interpreting spikes in surveys, watching registrations, recording attendance, and generally keeping their noses in the data don't "see" the big picture. The proof that youth soccer is flourishing in this country can be seen by anyone even if they don't have the benefit of the numbers. I trust the empirical evidence more than number crunching because it's my vision that I trust rather than some statistician's conclusion. True my observations aren't scientifically supported, yet pragmatic factors can carry more weight because everyone can judge for him or herself how reasonable the conclusions are. Following are three purely empirical indicators that youth soccer continues to expand. This morning I was searching through the on screen TV guide for something interesting to watch while I cleaned my bedroom. When I spotted it, I couldn't believe it, but there it was – an entire half day of soccer - not on Fox Soccer Channel, not on ESPN's platoon of channels, not on any of the Spanish language channels, all of which are my usual haunts for finding soccer to watch. Instead it was on the Time-Warner Wisconsin Sports Channel famous for showing marathons of fishing programs and the occasional high school sports state final. Now they were showing the U.S Youth Soccer Wisconsin State Championships for U13 boys and girls, and not the finals mind you, but third round games. These were well-produced programs with two commentators, two cameras, and relatively sophisticated editing and graphics. It wasn't high definition but the commentators actually knew the players' names and talked intelligently about the teams, the coaching choices, and the on field strategies. Now I seriously doubt that a public service of the cable company would have abandoned their treasure trove of cheaply and easily produced fishing programs for this far more complicated and costly production unless they felt there was an audience for the series. After all they need to answer to their advertising sponsors of which there were at least ten. I might understand showing the final games of the older teams, but the fact that they expanded their coverage to all the age levels at the State Championships and to include third round and semi-final games as well tells me that youth soccer, at least in Wisconsin, is making an impact. Speaking of advertisers, over the course of the last ten years there has been a huge increase of soccer related advertising, even for products that have little or nothing to do with soccer. Just this month an ad for a pain reliever begins with a grimacing woman being "side-lined" by headache pain. She then takes the product and is now on the "side-lines" of her child's soccer game. A decade ago the same campaign would have ended on the side-lines of a football game. At first blush soccer has little to do with a kitchen floor cleaner. But I'll admit anything that gets up the worst soccer cleat marks has an important connection to the sport, at least for me. I developed soccer parent knees from crawling around scrubbing the tiles in my kitchen. But the advertiser could have shown baseball cleats or football cleats or even track cleats. Instead it chose a soccer team to run across that poor kitchen floor. While watching the crowds at a July 4th celebration I was struck by how many people were wearing soccer apparel. Now I suppose this approaches a statistical analysis, but I did finally decide to count the number of soccer shirts and shorts compared to the number of "other." Better than half the people were wearing some soccer gear. Just to prove my observations weren't skewed, I was not at a soccer team function or even near a soccer field. This was just a gathering of people from the town who came to eat corn on the cob, watch some fireworks, and flaunt their interest in soccer. With approximately 3.8 million registered youth soccer players in the United States of which 3 million are registered with US Youth Soccer, a lot of kids with parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles are linked to soccer. That's a giant size target group. According to US Youth Soccer its membership has grown in thirty five years from 100,000 players to the 3 million today. That's just what the numbers say, but anyone with eyes and ears can bear witness to the increased influence of soccer on everyday life. Even President Obama takes time out from his schedule to go see his daughters play and has endorsed the U.S. bid to FIFA to host the 2018 World Cup. We last hosted in 1994 with a huge impact on interest in the sport in America. Just imagine what the 2018 World Cup in America could do to boost youth soccer interest even further. I'm sure people will create statistics to attempt to answer that question long before it actually happens. I say let's just wait and watch. If present observations are any indication I predict we may be seeing network feeds of U5 games by 2019! |
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| Jul 6 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
This is a cautionary tale for all of you who encourage your children to reach for the next level in life's endeavors. I'm all for raising the bar for my kids. So I'm not suggesting we shouldn't aim for the next target. But as we step up the ladder we need to anticipate how much more complex the journey becomes. Many a parent suddenly finds themselves dropped in a whirlpool of demands with no means of escape. Schedules, finances, sacrifices, and time double, triple, even quadruple in an exponential fashion. You can't just take soccer to the repair shop and ask someone to install more time like installing memory in your computer. Parents and kids get stuck with too full a calendar and too expensive a lifestyle. We want to have it all, but we can't always manage it. Since many players have completed or are completing their tryouts for the fall, now is the time to take stock of what will be expected. Too often we're so excited that our kids made the select team or got a spot in a prestigious club, that we forget a lot comes along with that honor. Our insurance agent was so excited that his son made the select team, but he didn't even know which club! I imagine he also doesn't know what he's in for as far as hours and dollars are concerned. To help slow down the demands, parents need to do two important things before the season begins. First and foremost now is the moment to do time management. Clubs, coaches, and other team parents will have expectations for the team. You've been told to buy into them or else. This is "time" extortion that preys on our desire to do the best for our kids. You can give yourself some breathing room by creating a small "ransom" of time now. Buy a huge calendar, a red marker, a blue marker, and a bunch of colored highlighters. Sit down as a family and figure out to the best of your abilities what demands there will be on your time outside of soccer as well as in soccer. Keep in mind as many of the activities as you can. Look at the school calendar to figure out when the dances, recitals, parent conferences, open houses, and field trips will occur. Be sure to include every child's school demands because unless you keep a clone of yourself on ice, you will need to be two or three places at the same time on occasion. Add in church classes, music lessons, other sports, and your own schedule such as board meetings or exercise class. And don't forget to fold in any volunteer requirements for the team. Write each thing in the appropriate calendar square in time order and highlight with a different color for each family member. Where conflicts occur use the red marker to place a check where you will need to find a ride for your children. Use the blue marker to place a check where you will be the transportation (so you also know when you can provide a carpool for another family). Don't forget family vacations, events (weddings, bar mitzvahs, birthdays, etc.), and those ever present soccer trips. Finally fold in time for just relaxing. Kids will be much more energized to go to practice if they don't feel they have sacrificed their social life to do so. If it means missing two practices a month, don't sweat it. Soccer will survive, the team will survive, and you need to survive! Second, make up a family budget now. Looking at the calendar, figure out the expenses the various activities will incur. Usually we're not thinking about anything but the immediate expense of club dues. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. You don't want to put your family in deep debt to fulfill soccer needs. Find ways to economize. As much as I loved seeing my boys play, it wasn't always practical to go to every tournament. By sending a boy with another team family, we could save the expense of our travel. Similarly, we helped out for other families who needed to send their sons on other events. In addition, there's no reason for eighteen or twenty cars to head to a tournament two hours away. Using your calendar, figure out events where you might carpool two or three families together and share the gas costs. Then begin to set up those carpools now rather than waiting. If you begin to crunch the numbers and find that you just don't have the money to fly to Florida or North Carolina for a tournament, then talk to the coach now. The club may be sending the coaches down on a group airfare that you can get in on or someone may have airline miles they can use to pay for the ticket. The club may even have a plan for families to do extra volunteer work for the cost of an airline ticket or you may have a talent you can barter such as plumbing, landscaping, data entry or painting which saves the club an expense. Most importantly don't have any hesitation to ask. And by planning ahead you may find a way for your son or daughter to earn the money. Just remember that you can only do as much as your finances allow and that's the way it is. It's amazing how quickly and insidiously the tiny demands of being on a soccer team can begin to pile up. The only relief is planning early. Make sure the club is very clear about time and financial demands. The coaches get their way paid when they go to tournaments and away games, so they often aren't thinking about expenses. Just don't be shy about asking. And don't be shy to demand that group hotel rooms are kept to a certain maximum amount a night. Believe me, you won't be the only one who thinks $139 a night is exorbitant, but you may be the only one to speak up. In fact if you need good control over these types of expenses, feel free to volunteer to be the team travel secretary! If you don't plan and you don't put your foot down, you can find yourself drowning in an overscheduled and expensive life. Soccer is supposed to be first and foremost fun. Make sure it stays that way for your family. |
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| Jun 29 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
I wrote a completely different blog for this week, but then two things happened. First, the U.S. Men's team posted an amazing and well-deserved win over number one ranked Spain in the Confederations Cup. Second, before the game, FIFA had each team captain read a statement which condemned racism on the soccer pitch and asked for an end to racism in the world. FIFA has continued a program it began supporting several years ago that addresses the problem of racism in soccer. In 2005, disturbed by a racial slur cast on him by, ironically, the Spanish National Team coach, Thierry Henry began his "Stand Up, Speak Up" campaign. He asked Nike to support the cause, which they did by manufacturing and distributing rubber wrist bands of two intertwined circles of black and white. They also funded public service announcements before, during, and after games that featured major soccer stars decrying the blight of racism in the sport. Then in 2006 for the World Cup, FIFA began its own program – Say No to Racism. Yesterday, hearing the fans cheering the on-field pronouncements gave me new hope that racism can be defeated. The U.S. Men's win over Spain proves two very significant aspects of soccer. Anything can happen and heart plays a huge role in the sport. I had so little faith in the U.S. Men after their lackluster performances in the preliminary rounds of the Confederations Cup that I actually went out grocery shopping during the first half of the game. The U.S. had barely squeaked through to the semis. They had required the perfect storm we all calculate at our kids' soccer tournaments to open the door to Wednesday's upset of Spain. The U.S. had lost two games in their bracket. The only way they could go through was if they beat Egypt by three goals and Brazil beat Italy by three goals. Other than very young youth games, it's a rare day when teams win with a three goal margin. To have two teams do it defies the odds, but that's what happened. The fact that U.S. team did its part to insure a berth in the semis speaks volumes about their collective change of heart from going through the motions to clawing for victory. So I should have expected that given the chance on the world stage to show that the U.S. can now be a force that they would do exactly that. By the time I arrived home from the store, the U.S. was up 1-0 and when the dust settled they had added a second goal and played the waning minutes down a man after Michael Bradley received an extremely questionable red card. They played brilliantly, especially in the back where a frustrated Spain had opportunity after opportunity stolen by our defenders and Tim Howard, the goalkeeper. I can't wait for the game Sunday. By the time this blog is posted, everyone will know the outcome, but right now I don't even know their opponent! What motivated me even more to change my blog was the ceremony before the game, which I saw later in the evening when we watched the game again (note my previous blog on recording games and playing them back). It was moving to see the Spanish team captain reading a statement deploring racism. Since it was two incidents involving Spanish teams that sparked Thierry Henry's crusade, it was both fitting and significant that Spain read the first statement. When Henry was insulted by the Spanish National Team coach he didn't respond, believing instead that FIFA would condemn the statement. But nothing happened. Then a month later the black members of England's national side were barraged with a slew of racial insults during a "friendly" match in Madrid. Again nothing happened. As Henry explains in an interview in Time magazine, he felt he had to speak out. "As a player, you'd hear or see the occasional racist insult or gesture, but you'd tell yourself it's unfortunate but normal, a price to pay if you want to play pro football. But after all these things happened, I realized that footballers have a duty to defend important values, and use their media exposure to deliver messages when the occasion presents itself." He solicited Nike and the rest is history. What Henry didn't say was that no player should have to pay the price of racism, especially youth players. Yet they do every day here in the U.S. and around the world. They don't receive monetary compensation for putting up with racial attacks. I understand this personally. I don't speak about it much because I don't feel it is relevant to most discussions, but our sons are adopted and bi-racial. They have endured their share of racial attacks during games and off the field, but they also understand that people will find any way, even hatred, to try to put them off their game. We have always said that the boys can't use racism as an excuse for not succeeding because many African-Americans and Hispanics have succeeded before them in atmospheres of far less tolerance than today. Nevertheless, they have had to toss off both overt and implied racism. Bryce has been spat upon in goal and called names. Just this week Robbie, who is working for a landscape contractor, was refused a cup of ice water by a client because she was "out of cups," while just moments later a white coworker was given a cup. Clearly racism is pervasive and ugly, but certainly not worthy of being tolerated within the international power and scope of soccer. When FIFA came out with their Say No to Racism campaign, I applauded. It has happened far too late for an organization with such world-wide influence and recognition, but it happened. For that I am grateful. Soccer encompasses the world and as such can provide the leadership to rise above intolerance. Soccer sponsors more international competitions that bring together disparate races, religions, politics, and economies than the highly touted Olympics. Both men and women play. It fosters both national and individual pride. So it shouldn't be the venue where racism is allowed to be practiced unabated. Therefore it was a powerful moment in that South African stadium where two teams spoke out against racism. Today Brazil and South Africa will meet in the second semifinal game and these teams will also read statements before the game. Having players unite shows, in Henry's words, "that racism is a problem for everyone, a collective ailment. It shows that people of all colors, even adversaries on the pitch, are banding together in this, because we're all suffering from it together." When teammates are attacked on the basis of their race or religion, it affects everyone. As parents, coaches, and referees we have a responsibility to both lead by example and to confront racism when it appears. It's a sad commentary that a program like Say No to Racism is needed but it is also heartening to see that an official stance has been taken by the international organization. I am not so naïve as to believe that racism will disappear altogether, but I am hopeful that we can make racism difficult to flourish. After all, if the U.S. Men's team that lost to Costa Rica, barely beat Honduras, and clawed its way into the semifinals of the Confederations Cup can then defeat the number one team in the world, I think that collectively as human beings we can find the heart to squash racism. |
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| Jun 22 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Right now I have an undetermined number of boys in my basement who showed up to watch the U.S. Men's National team take on Brazil's National team in the Confederations Cup. I say undetermined because the game started at 8:30 a.m. and boys started arriving around 1 a.m. to "sleep" over and be up in time for the game. I don't know about any of the rest of you, but it is a rare day when my boys are up before noon when they have no responsibilities. So for an entire gaggle of young men to not only be up, but wide awake and yelling at the TV in the early morning fascinates me. They will emerge from the basement only for bathroom breaks and eventually hunger, although I suspect there are enough chips, pizza, sport drinks, and fruit downstairs to rival a survivalist's storehouse.
I should also mention that the game is being recorded both in the basement and in the family room, so although I am not watching it now, I'll have the pleasure of seeing it replayed at least a dozen times over the next few weeks. I finally "accidently" deleted a World Cup final that had been replayed weekly over the course of two years. I felt no need to sustain the repetition because despite soccer's relative infancy as an American TV sporting event, there are still enough games to fill each 24 hours period without having to rewatch old ones. But my sons don't just play the game; they are students of the game. They can tell anyone who will listen what the latest trades were and for how much coin, who scored and when, what coaches got fired or hired, what uniform contracts each team has, how effective various teams' set plays have been, who got injured, and who just accomplished a particular watermark in the sport.
When they watch soccer, they are like lost explorers who can't see the forest for the trees. They are so busy studying moves, kicks, positioning, and runs that they lose track of time and scores. The aforementioned World Cup final I erased had one ten second moment where Oliver Kahn missed stopping a goal. That particular snippet of the game was replayed at least several hundred if not a thousand times as Bryce studied the goalkeeper's position, reaction, and failure. I doubt the entire city of Chicago uses the frame by frame feature on their remotes as much as our family does. Once the analysis begins on a particular game, strike, or foul, I know I need to find a book to read because I have lost control of the television for a good two hours. After the U.S. /Brazil game ends I know that the boys in the basement will begin the freeze frame replay of stretches of the game, arguing over every nuanced moment. They will also be reenacting those moments both in the basement and later at the soccer field. They will spend hours trying to reproduce a particular foot move or style of kick. All of them blew off sleep, work, even food to watch the game and to participate in the post-game breakdown. I should also mention that at 1:30 p.m. Egypt takes on Italy, so I expect the basement to be a mix of hot air, sweat, and salsa by dinner time. I think if I could figure out how to channel this passion for soccer into other ventures I'd win the Nobel Prize for Making Parents' Lives Easier. I know that's not a real award, but they'd create it if I could harness kids' soccer interest into cleaning their bedrooms, finishing homework, doing dishes, and folding laundry. The best I've been able to accomplish is a begrudging agreement to bring up dirty dishes and trash from the basement. I'm working on getting the pair of shorts on the stairs up to the bedroom sometime this month. Despite messy rooms and laundry piles I am still happy the boys love the game so much. It's definitely an activity the entire family shares in one form or another, although the laundry "form" seems to be singularly mine. While the boys can needle one another into explosive confrontations, soccer has always been the common ground where they meet and communicate. Yesterday Robbie came home from work totally spent just as Bryce was leaving to play a Small-Side game with friends. He asked Robbie to join him, but Robbie pled exhaustion. Twenty minutes later, after a shower, Robbie came downstairs in his soccer gear and drove up to the field to join in having called a friend of his to go as well. Two weeks ago Bryce found a crushed ping pong ball under the couch and he's still kicking it around the floor. Soccer doesn't define the boys because they have so many other interests and dimensions, but soccer definitely provides the spine to their existence. Everything ultimately either emanates from or journeys towards their soccer interest. The other day I was in the soccer store picking up yet another item of soccer clothing. The place was swarming with kids ordering their uniforms for the coming season. I witnessed every emotion from exasperation to joy within that store. Several of the girls hated the uniform they had to wear, while one little girl put on the uniform and then twirled around with total glee. Some boys were arguing with their moms about the uniform size; moms wanted it bigger to grow into and the boys wanted it tight and fitted. One dad firmly set the top limit he would spend for soccer cleats and then agreed to a slightly more expensive pair. Nearly everyone left with more than the required items. I've been there and done that with the bank statements to prove it. So as I once again paid for a sweatshirt Robbie just had to have and the clerk typed in my phone number from memory, I thanked the stars that if my boys had to have an addiction that it was soccer. Eventually all the parents in that store will do the same. I just remember that I could be watching reruns of "Cops" rather than the U.S. vs. Brazil and grateful that my children aren't the centerpiece of an episode. |
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| Jun 15 2009, 3:00 PM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Take one part political rally, another part Mardi Gras, another part pageant drama, and a good twist of sports fever, stir together and serve in an arena seating at least 55,000 people. That's the rumble that rolled into Chicago last week. The United States Men's National team faced off against the Honduran Men's National team in a World Cup qualifier at Soldier Field. For over two hours the venue became the same powerhouse of soccer energy that plays out regularly in stadiums throughout the rest of the world, yet usually only shows its full force here during these infrequent U. S. major soccer events. Nevertheless this opportunity to experience the electric passion that soccer generates gave American patrons a significant introduction to the reason soccer holds a commanding position in the sports world. Soccer is more than just a game. Two years ago, when Robbie spent two weeks in Spain playing soccer with the US Youth Soccer Olympic Development Program, he experienced firsthand the intensity of passion soccer generates. After a beautiful day spent exploring a mountain top chapel and grotto, he entered the stadium at Barcelona. He was immediately struck with how the stadium reflected many of the same details he had already witnessed that day. In the chapel sunlight streamed through the stained glass windows and the flickering candlelight danced off the walls and faces of the worshippers. In the stadium the setting sun glimmered through the frame of the roof, spilling rosy shafts of light across the seats and the faces of the fans. Thousands of camera flashes glimmered around the arena while overhead stadium lamps filled the pitch with brilliant light. Robbie had seen an old woman praying at the chapel, her gnarled hands clasp in supplication. As he walked to his stadium seats, he saw a man on his knees in a Barcelona jersey fervently praying. While there weren't crowds in the chapel leaping up and down and bellowing out team chants, the parishioners were joined together by a common bond of worship. Likewise the fans shared an immediate bond that transcended gender, income, race, and even religion. For those two hours of the game, every fan shared the same wish and the same loyalty. No one would suggest that soccer takes the place of faith in anyone's life, but Robbie saw how fans treated soccer with the same serious reverence. Saturday night a taste of that intensity visited Chicago. A good percentage of the fans were Honduran. With a total population of 7.5 million in Honduras I would estimate that .05% were in Chicago at the game. The U.S. was severely underrepresented, but those who came got a great immersion in "true" soccer. A kettle drum boomed throughout the game, fans never sat down, flags, scarves, and t-shirts swirled non-stop, and flashes lit up the stands. Every move of the Honduran team from pre-game to post-game was greeted with a deafening roar. When the trainers trotted over to the bench, the fans went wild! The various elements of the experience fed off each other, so that the frenzy of the fans rolled like a wave around and over the arena. The entire city of Chicago could probably have been lit by the energy generated by the fans. When Honduras scored in the sixth minute it set off a crescendo of exhilaration that lasted nearly the entire game, even after Landon Donovan successfully scored a PK to tie. It only waned a bit when a Bocanegra goal sent the U.S. into the lead. The fact that the home team couldn't generate a larger crowd shows how far soccer stills need to grow here. Other more marketable sports steal away fans and dollars. But right now soccer is a great value, so hopefully American fans will recognize what an amazing experience they can have for their admission price. As the four US Youth Soccer Regional Championships begin, hopefully our youth players will get a taste of the soccer fever that visited the U.S. last week. In these smaller locations, the international level of fan intensity will seem not only out of place but excessive. But we can still offer our kids enthusiasm. As one soccer season winds down and another begins, we can also provide opportunities for our kids to watch matches that don't involve just youth players. Part of what makes for great fans is that they are educated fans. That happens by watching games at all levels as often as possible. Few of us get the chance to go overseas to watch games or attend the World Cup, not to mention World Cup qualifiers, Gold Cup, or professional league games. But college games are abundant and inexpensive. Some of the best future players can be seen at these soccer games. If a major youth tournament comes to your town, take time to go watch a few games. Many of these tournaments have international youth teams attending where you can possibly catch the new David Beckham or Mia Hamm. We've had the privilege of seeing many of the present soccer stars when they were just U19 players visiting for a tournament. No matter the venue, immerse yourself in the games that are readily available throughout America. Then, at the next international game in the U.S. we won't have to listen to the opposition fans. We'll bring down the house all on our own. Follow the moments from the US Youth Soccer Regional and National Championships on http://championships.usyouthsoccer.org |
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| Jun 8 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
I saw a television commercial the other night which shows a mom helping her nine or 10 year old son try out a variety of sports albeit unsuccessfully. Football, baseball, tennis, and golf evade this youngster's capabilities. As these various frustrations fade in and out, a chorus provides an inspirational background song. Dissolve to the actual chorus on stage and the mom in the audience basking as the boy steps out of the group and sings his solo like an angel.
I applaud the commercial for reinforcing that every child doesn't need to be a sports specialist. The world needs singers, actors, artists, even writers. I personally couldn't survive without mechanics. But I think the ad also diminishes participation in sports by equating it with success. Kids need to break a few windows, tear up divots, throttle the ball over the side nets, or boot the ball into the woods before they can develop the finesse to be more accurate and controlled. Sports, like any activity, have a learning curve. No one, not Freddy Adu, not LeBron James, not Florence Joyner, who were sports prodigies, walks for the first time onto a field, a court, or a track fully formed as an athlete. Letting a child give up on a sport because in the first hour he or she hasn't mastered it sends the message that sports can't be fun unless you're an expert.
I remember our oldest daughter bowling for the first time. She was about seven. She threw the initial ball down the alley which wobbled and rolled into the gutter. She turned around, stomped her foot and declared, "I'm not playing anymore" as she stormed in a huff to the bench. It took us about 20 minutes to convince her to roll the second ball. Thankfully this one painfully sashayed down the lane and precariously hung on the edge of the alley before knocking down two pins. Otherwise, I doubt we would have ever gotten her to try a third time. However, over the next year, with lessons, she ended up requesting her own ball and shoes and had won a patch for beating Earl Anthony (who bowled with his opposite hand) in a three frame contest. She eventually went on to become a ballet dancer and then a fashion merchandiser. She bowls once or twice a year. But she learned to persevere through her novice stage which gave her the confidence to persevere through other frustrating experiences. For a perfectionist such as she is, it was good to learn that success doesn't come immediately nor does past success guarantee future success.
This was a lesson learned by Robbie's team last weekend. They lost in the finals of the US Youth Soccer Wisconsin State Championships. They had been doing quite well over the spring, but seemed to lose steam at the end. The game was a rematch of last year's final and the other team was hungrier for their vindication of last year's loss. Sadly, for about half his team, this game marked the end of their competitive soccer experience that began for most at ages five and six. Some are going on to play in college and some will play club in college. But no matter what the future holds, all of them continued with soccer up to this point because they found companionship with teammates and joy with the game. No one considers himself an expert at the sport. But win or lose, soccer awarded each of them with advantages that aren't measured by success.
I admit to some bittersweet moments once the game was over. I'll miss not going to US Youth Soccer Regional Championships. I love the caliber of games, the spectacle of the event, and the fun of seeing kids Robbie and Bryce have known through their soccer networks. At the same time I'm a bit grateful for not having to drive ten hours and live in a hotel for six nights. I must be getting old! I think about the first time the boys walked onto a soccer field and at first were overwhelmed by the game. But they loved being with their friends, loved being outdoors, loved attacking the ball, loved scoring, loved falling, and loved getting the snack after the game. Some of their friends who began soccer with them switched along the way to either other sports or other interests. Despite many of them not continuing with soccer, their friendship and their connection with our family did continue. Now as they are poised to graduate from high school we get to hear where these past teammates are going to school, what they will study, and what they plan to do. It's a rich collection of kids who provide new insights into the world and its opportunities every time they interact with us.
I do appreciate these kids for all they offer us, but I also appreciate soccer for being the gateway into their world. As we enter the season for tryouts, I know that anxieties run high. The focus shifts heavily to success and the innocence of recreational soccer gives way to apprehension. So I know how important remembering the good times turns out to be. We need to remember that if our kids love to play soccer, then they should continue to play. US Youth Soccer supports teams at all age levels and at many different skill levels. So every kid who wants to play should be able to play. As parents we need to not feed into a sense of failure if our children don't make a particular team. Instead look upon it as an opportunity to both expand your network of friends and to experience a different style of coaching and playing. Most importantly, no child should give up. Teams come and go with varying degrees of success. The joy of playing a sport or singing a song or solving an equation should transcend set-backs. Even the world's best bowler throws a gutter ball or two every year. |
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| Jun 1 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Back in college when I majored in psychology in the hopes of making the same breath-taking salary as I now make writing, I studied this psychological assessment of a person's cognitive level. Given nine objects the person had to group them based on size, shape, color, and material. Each object could be part of several different groups, so their separation required some creative thinking. I reverted to the test's structure this week when I had the chance to see two very different and yet very similar soccer games. With soccer as the broad context, the comparisons and contrasts seemed limitless. Wednesday I watched the UEFA Champions League Championship game between Barcelona and Manchester United. Spoiler alert! I'll be revealing who won. An American equivalent to the match might be the Super Bowl except the pageantry for UEFA has a sparse swagger rather than an over-produced excess. Nevertheless a comely lass dressed in the Championship Cup did do her best Victoria's Secret runway walk towards the camera as confetti fluttered around her and a huge chorus belted out the Champion League Anthem based on Handel's "Zadok the Priest" from the Coronation Anthems. It wasn't Bruce Springsteen, but it did get the emotions boiling. Then the teams marched out along the center line and spread out across the field flanking the officials. Every team member showed his anxiety in jittery limbs and tense expressions. Likewise I got to see several US Youth Soccer Association State Championship games in Wisconsin this weekend and last. The players weren't as seasoned or physically mature, but the same stakes existed: win or go home. While the only confetti bits were errant napkins and wrappers, the celebratory mood did exist on those fields. The teams marched out to the center line, fanned out beside the officials, and basked in the applause of parents, siblings, and fans. I really delight in watching the entrance of the teams on the field. For the younger players it may be the first time they have ever participated in a tradition they have seen preceding World Cup and Gold Cup games. The nerves they felt had to be as intense as any of the nerves Thierry Henry or Cristiano Ronaldo felt on Wednesday. It's their taste of the world-wide rituals of the game. And it was their chance to relish it. For the first few minutes of the UEFA game Man U dominated. As a team they seemed confident and motivated, but when Samuel Eto'o suddenly used a brilliant pass by André Iniesta at the ten minute mark to power a goal behind Edwin Van der Sar they just as suddenly dissolved into confusion and reticence. How often have we watched our own children be psychologically taken out of a game after an unexpected goal? Team dynamics really aren't much different for 12 year olds and 28 year olds. That intangible network that holds team members together and drives them collectively towards success can dissolve in an instant and never be regained. Such was the case with Manchester United. Many a state championship game turned on the inability of a team to create or maintain that group dynamic. Even someone as skilled and seasoned as Ronaldo managed to received a pass in the six yard box and then boot it over or wide of the goal. Remember that the next time you groan when your daughter's teammate does the same. The complex and delicate mix of skill, temperament, nerves, and placement may not be mastered by Cristiano Ronaldo of Manchester United or Sara Smith of Hometown FC. The problem is that Ronaldo is being paid to have mastered it and our sons and daughters do it for the joy of the game. So we need to cut them some slack. All this brings me to the fans. While I heard occasional jabs at the officials or angry shout outs to players, for the most part state championship fans have been well-mannered and supportive. Not so for the fans at UEFA. Fan intensity in soccer comes with the territory especially at the professional level. Fans don't accept any sort of error. So cat calls, whistles, boos, and even unprintable chants echo regularly throughout soccer stadiums of the world. But at the youth level in the United States we have managed to maintain an atmosphere of near civility. A few members of Robbie's team got yellow cards during the game for having garbage mouths, which comes with being a teenager and knowing everything about everything. The frustration with perceived bad calls erupts in verbal harangues. In that regard they are no different than any of the players at the UEFA game, but in the professional ranks such outbursts are more regularly tolerated and ignored. Although it probably seems like an inconsequential element to the game, uniforms can play a very important role for the players. My sons will often express the hope that they will be playing in a certain uniform combination for reasons of superstition, pride, or comfort. When that combination can't be worn, it can have a trickle down affect on team spirit and motivation. As a mom I only hope they won't wear the white shorts on a muddy day. I wonder if Man U felt less strong in their all white uniforms. They did seem to melt into the background compared to Barcelona in their bright blue and red stripes. There's no way of knowing if uniforms had anything to do with the team's demeanor, but as a former psychology student I have to read something into everything. I look forward to the US Youth Soccer Association Championship Series. I love seeing other teams and watching players whose jerseys I'll be buying someday for my grandchildren. It's a grand gathering of talent, hope, and enthusiasm. Again I'll encourage families to try to attend their Regional Championships and, if they are in the Northeast, the National Championship. While it isn't the World Cup or the FA Cup or UEFA, it is a spectacle in its own right and a show of earnest, passionate soccer. While a ticket to UEFA probably set a fan back several hundred if not thousands of dollars, the Championship Series is free of charge (except possibly for parking) and offers dozens of games to watch and enjoy. The one good thing about soccer being a growing sport in the US is that it is still a relatively inexpensive spectator sport. Bring along a recording of "Zadok the Priest" and you'll nearly have the complete UEFA experience. |
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| May 26 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Spring finds most states are in the midst of their US Youth Soccer State Championships. Winners earn the opportunity to compete in their US Youth Soccer Regional Championships with an eye towards advancing to the National Championships. Unfortunately spring also brings unpredictable weather that disrupts carefully crafted championships schedules. Add to that all the activities that fill April, May and June, prom, finals, graduations, service projects, field trips, bat and bar mitzvahs and confirmations, and you end up with a tangle of frustratingly impossible scheduling.
So far Robbie hasn't played a single State Championship game either as scheduled or completely. Rain storms devastated fields and lightning brought one game to a halt before the 90 minute mark. His team is due to play their final round robin game on Monday, but the weather reports are for rain and lightning, so we hoping for the best and expecting the worst. That's because once the schedule has to change, team administrators find themselves in an alternate universe called "no way." Any of you who have been team administrators know this land well. First you have to send out the email that cancels the game and await the emails that border on accusing you of personally ordering the inclement weather just to mess up everyone's calendar. I liken it to the pilot of a plane announcing that the wings don't seem to be attached properly so the flight to Orlando will be delayed and the majority of people nearly storm the cockpit demanding the plane take off any way. This is the same group who undoubtedly complain that planes should be safer. The usual reason for cancellation is weather. Sometimes game day is beautiful, but the rain the night before made the fields unplayable, which only makes the howls more strident. Once it all calms down it's time for the reschedule emails. These usually involve first figuring out three or four possible dates for the rematch and then emailing both your team members and the opponents. Trust me, President Carter negotiating the Camp David Accord between Sadat and Begin didn't have as complicated a time as any team administrator trying to reschedule a game. The older the team, the harder it becomes. By high school you are bucking proms, senior trips, graduations, final papers, and finals in general. Since team members attend a variety of schools nothing is parallel so nothing is easy. Plus there are always those teammates who never respond and then, once a date is agreed upon, announce that they can't possibly play that day. When the flurry of emails has settled and a date declared, everyone holds their breath that the weather will cooperate. Despite these roadblocks, all games manage to be played with minimal input from the State Association level. This speaks to both the flexibility and amiability of soccer managers, coaches, parents and players. People do bend, do compromise, and do facilitate, so that even the most complex, backs-up-against-the-wall deadline gets completed. Soccer can be civil off the field, at least at the youth level. I have to say I love the State Championship. Last year Bryce's team won and went to the US Youth Soccer Region II Championship which was in our backyard down in Rockford, Illinois. This year it's in Sioux Falls, S.D., which would be a wonderful road trip. However, I'm not sure Robbie's team can win this year. They are primarily graduating seniors and as such have little interest in anything that doesn't involve a game console and sleeping late. So motivating them to practice and play isn't always easy. I think Robbie's coach has the patience of Mr. Rogers and the implacability of Ryan Seacrest. Maybe he goes home and throws darts at squirrels to take out his pent up frustration, but on the field he never shows it. In Wisconsin Memorial Day weekend is the main date for State Championship with central locations for the games. Because Robbie's team has graduating seniors they couldn't play most of their games this weekend because at least a third of them are graduating. So they'll just play the Monday games. But that means we'll still get to experience some of the celebration that surrounds the event. I definitely encourage players and families to take some extra time to watch other games, visit any of the vendors on site, and enjoy the chance to compete at a top level. Likewise, if the Regional or National Championship is within easy driving distance you should plan to spend a day or two at the venue. These competitions provide families with the opportunity to see a variety of teams and discover what talent can be found outside of their own neighborhoods. It's also a chance to reconnect with teammates from the US Youth Soccer Olympic Development Program. Win or lose these championship events bring out the best players, the best soccer, and the best games, so long as they can all get scheduled. 2009 US Youth Soccer National Championship Series Dates
Region I Village of Barboursville, W.Va. July 2-7, 2009 Region II Sioux Falls, S.D. June 20-24, 2009 Region III Frisco and Plano, Texas June 18-24, 2009 Region IV Lancaster, Calif. June 15-21, 2009 US Youth Soccer National Championships Lancaster, Mass. July 21-26, 2009 |
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| May 18 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
I'm an optimist when it comes to TV viewing. I record dozens of shows with the very real intent of watching them all, then spend fifteen minutes once a week deleting most of them. If people ask me if I've seen a program I cheerfully answer "No, but I recorded it!" Every once in a while I have the opportunity to actually see one of the shows I recorded, generally because I'm shirking some other responsibility like laundry or writing. Earlier this week I watched an episode of "Numb3rs" about an FBI agent and his genius math brother who solves crimes using brute force and clever number theory. It's a slight drama, but entertaining. During this particular episode there was a crawl across the screen with the teaser, "Test your own math skills by trying the puzzles at CBS.com." I jumped at the opportunity to validate my intelligence (or scoff at the ridiculousness of the questions if I couldn't solve them). This week's puzzle concerned convergence using lines that bisected triangle sides and angles. While I enjoyed the questions, they led me to further consideration about convergence as it relates to soccer. Yes, I'm that obsessed with soccer! Convergence in math means the same thing it does in English – a coming together from different directions at a single point (Encarta Dictionary). Soccer succeeds or fails because of convergence or the lack thereof. Yesterday, Robbie's team had a state championship play-off game that frustratingly demonstrated the elements of convergence. I should mention that convergence is either exhilarating or frustrating when it comes to soccer. Yesterday an opponent's foot converged twice with one of Robbie's teammate's faces. The second convergence resulted in thirteen stitches. The lightning and deluge converged with twilight to require an early game termination. The uneven new sod patches converged with an errant kick to insure an erratic bounce into the goal. Players regularly converged for fouls or tackles or steals. We finally had an exhilarating convergence when a ball was struck from the corner by one forward while the other charged in, met it at the goal line and converged it right into the back of the net. When you relate soccer anecdotes they usually involve convergence. So while you may not have stayed awake during your Geometry class, you still use the mathematical precepts to make your point. "I thought the ball was going in, but the keeper just managed to deflect it." "That defender came out of nowhere to steal the ball right off of my daughter's foot." "The ball caromed off the post and into the goal." "That dad got right in the official's face." Players converge at the end of the game in the traditional handshake. We even use convergence to get to the games when we set our GPS and it charts a course for us. It's creating a convergence between the spot we need to be and the route our vehicle travels even if it isn't a straight bisector. My other favorite sport is baseball. I'm happy to spend a few hours at the ballpark absorbing the sights and sounds of a Brewers game. On the face of it, baseball and soccer couldn't be more different in their production. Baseball is a game of fits and starts, especially in the eighth inning of a close game where pitching changes can make that one inning last nearly as long as the rest of the game. Players in the outfield might go long minutes before even moving, much less chasing a ball. But when they are needed, they are needed in a spectacular hurry. Soccer is nearly non-stop, everyone is needed all the time, and players have to be constantly on the move, readjusting their position depending upon the direction and speed of play. But I realized that what I love about baseball I also love about soccer. Both games require mathematical precision which is based on convergence. That's why I don't like watching baseball on TV, because the camera dictates where I look. I want to survey the field, see where the outfielders are shifting, judge the wind, watch runners lead off, and get a good feel for the ball's direction both when hit and when thrown. Players make judgments about their position based on the angle they expect the ball to travel. In other words, they place themselves in the mostly likely spot for convergence or near enough to a range of convergence points. There are some intuitive calculations concerning trajectories, resistance, and velocity that dictate the point of convergence and the likelihood of success. Pitchers, hitters, infielders, outfielders, and coaches are all doing their own math in their heads to determine what will create the best outcome. Pitchers want to have their pitches converge with the catcher's mitt, hitters want their bats to converge with the ball, and fielders want their mitts to converge with any hit. Likewise a soccer player makes a decision about using left or right foot, inside or outside, force of the kick, and obstacles to pick the most likely point of convergence with the ball that will alter its route right into the goal or to another teammate's foot. These players do this all within a blink of the eye and they do it hundreds of times in a game. Even more amazingly, unlike math students who can do their calculations in relative calm and without immediate criticism, players resolve their mathematical equations in an instant with on the spot evaluations given at the top of someone's lungs. There's no time to recalculate, check the variables, ponder the choices. It's now or never and then on to the next problem. While I don't advocate protractors and graphic calculators as part of an essential soccer kit, I do recognize the beauty of math in what is happening on the field. The next time you watch a ball leave a player's foot and land perfectly in front of another player, or see a player suddenly step in front of an opponent to triumphantly settle a goal kick, or witness that awesome bend it like Beckham moment, give pause to consider Euclid, Aristotle, and Pythagoras. Sure, these ancient Greeks didn't invent soccer, but their geometrical explorations resulted in tools for analyzing and improving soccer play. With their acute understanding of convergence, they probably would have made fantastic coaches. Maybe they were. "Go Polyhedrons!" |
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| May 11 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
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Seven years ago I swore I would never own a cell phone. Now I panic if I forget to toss it in my purse when I leave the house. Someone might want to talk to me and I won't be able to get back to them for an hour. I've become the woman who believes such a scenario ranks up there with the Hindenburg disaster. And I know I am not alone. Whenever a car on the freeway suddenly slows down for no apparent reason, we used to say "oh, a fuzz buster." Now we all nod our heads and say, "Cell phone call." I used to snap my head around when I heard some child call "mommy." Now that reaction is reserved for a cell phone ring tone released in a crowd. How did I get from total aversion to complete dependency? I blame it on soccer. |
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| May 4 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Winning isn't everything which is easy to say, but not easy to live by unless you're under the age of ten. Measuring one's accomplishments by a team's success doesn't really set in until kids are older. As youngsters they are enough "me" focused with a touch of self-doubt to need personal praise and affirmation. They can understand and appreciate a team win, but it isn't the most important part of playing. I was watching a soccer game of six year olds when one team scored on the other. As the kids lined up for the kickoff, a parent shouted encouragingly, "You'll get it bac" prompting a player to pipe up, "We already got it back. We're kicking." Duh mom and dad! Someday hearing, "you'll get it back" will be very important and supportive. That day, it just stated the obvious. My grandkids like to win as much as the next player especially if they are playing a board game against one another. But whenever I talk to them about their sports I never hear if they won or lost. Instead, I am treated to a blow by blow description of some snippet from their match where they felt they had achieved something extraordinary. Their personal victory over whatever roadblocks existed during play carry far more weight in their memories than wins or losses. Last week Archer announced on the phone that he had done "the biggest kick ever. It went past all the players. It almost went out of the field, but it didn't." I have no idea if the kick resulted in a goal. What mattered was the power of his kick. I expressed supreme praise for having such a strong leg. And when I asked if the team had won he replied, "I love you. Bye." Don't get me wrong . . . I'm all for winning. Competition leads to life lessons as important as courtesy and safety. What I dread are the by-products of competition that spell the end of innocence. Kids who played together for three years suddenly find themselves split into separate teams based on skill. For those who don't make the "A" team there's the natural feelings of failure and the pain of seeing a group of your friends move on without you. Parents can put whatever spin on the results as they want, but kids still understand what's happening. Clubs need to be encouraged to help players through these transitions. I've witnessed and heard of horrible stories when children first enter the world of select soccer. At age nine all of Robbie's team except two players were invited to play up a year. We were told we were moving as a team, so it was shock to learn that two kids were "disinvited." All of us felt betrayed. I still remember the anguish in the voice of one mother. It was totally unnecessary. Eventually those players would have self-selected to opt out of soccer and winning didn't really matter at that age. Parents and coaches need to be sensitive to the major upheaval this transition imposes on families. It's not just missing out on a particular team. It can change the social group for children and define them among their peers. We should appreciate and extend the years when winning takes a back seat to personal achievement. The kids don't have that judgmental attitude towards one another. Every action earns high fives, whether a goal or an own goal. The players have that wonderful raw enthusiasm where nothing can go wrong, except occasional bumps and bruises. Games are a jumble of activity punctuated with outbursts of glee. Somewhere in the midst of this joyous chaos a few gems of learning are picked up. I know that eventually the entire rhythm of the games will shift to winning. The players will express disappointment in one another's efforts and learn to lay blame. I'm not sure how or why this shift occurs, but it does. Some of it may be learned on the ride home from games where we parents point out that Johnny didn't pass very well or Mary is a ball hog. And some of it just grows from the competitive need to win where one mistake can spell the difference between winning and losing. I often miss the pleasure of just laughing on the sidelines. Once winning becomes important that drive spills over to the spectators. A 16 year old going to kick the ball and whiffing evokes disappointing grunts while a six year old doing the same thing elicits giggles. Own goals aren't funny when they occur in state league play, but are hilarious in recreational soccer especially when followed by leaps of joy from the striker and her teammates, who only understand that a goal is a good thing. When winning gets involved, watching a game can become an exercise in self-control rather than unbridled engagement. I know too well the tension that winning brings to a competition. During last fall's state tournament quarterfinals Robbie's high school team fought to a 0-0 tie in regulation finally scoring a golden goal in overtime. All the restrained tension spilled out in body shakes and tears. That would never happen while watching Archer kick the biggest kick ever. So I'm grateful for those years of just enjoying the moment without any stake in the outcome. And when they look back, the kids will be grateful too. |
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| Apr 27 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
I pride myself on my organization, but recent events have placed me in a whirlpool of chaos. Suddenly all my careful planning, filing, labeling, and storing have dissolved into 150 boxes with vague notations such as "master bedroom coats". Since I have never in my life stored a coat in my master bedroom, I am totally confused. I may have another woman's box. She may be as organized as I but sitting in her torn up home staring at a box that says "Office Soccer Schedule"" and withering with bewilderment. Unless her own children play soccer, in which case she is probably tearing into the box hoping for sudden and complete order.
Now that soccer season has begun in earnest, I am undone. I don't have my two foot by three foot calendar on the wall where I can fill in every detail of our complicated lives. I don't know where half my soccer necessities chortle in hiding. Random gloves and hats appear from various open boxes without rhyme or reason. Even Robbie has begun to feel my panic. Where he once depended upon me to be able to find any lost or misplaced soccer item, he has had to accept that I no longer have the rock solid and uncanny ability to zero in on the truant article. I am as lost and misplaced as his soccer gear. The well-oiled machine of our soccer lives now coughs and sputters without dependable results. So you can imagine the absolute elation and relief when I discovered my soccer survival box intact in the garage. Untouched by the disaster and escaping packing by the movers, the box sat on the shelf like a beacon of hope and tranquility. Within its cardboard corral my rain jackets, umbrellas, paper towels, wet wipes, and other soccer accessories rested tranquilly awaiting their return to my van. Robbie might not have all his uniform pieces, but we have toilet paper for the port-a-johns. Last weekend we traveled to Indiana for Midwest Regional League competition and had occasion to tap into the box for rain gear and umbrellas. We were even able to provide umbrellas for others who had not yet set up their car for soccer season. I felt partially back in control. This chaos has put lots of things into perspective. For instance, I recognize that my children aren't the only ones who forget to pack their cleats in their bag and realize it after two hours on the road. I'm not the only mother who runs through a check list with my kids before we depart. The phrase "If you keep everything in your bag, you won't lose it" echoes through many a home. Smelly, month old wet shorts sit buried in the bottom of thousands of soccer bags. The mad rush to locate a ball pump repeats itself dozens of times at tournaments. So while organization can be a wonderful way to avoid crises, it isn't completely reliable. Once, when I was a manager, I somehow lost the player pass, medical release and birth certificate of a player. We were at a tournament that was run by someone even more compulsive than I am, so rules were meant to be followed to the letter. The tournament was in Florida and families had given up their spring breaks, spent hundreds of dollars to travel down, and naturally expected to watch their children play. So I had to figure out how to solve this crisis. I tore through all my paperwork, which had been completely in order prior to boarding our plane – believe me I had checked and double checked everything. So I hoped that somehow the paper fairy would fly down, point her wand in some dark recess of my brief case, and illuminate the missing paperwork. No such luck. Then I had a Eureka moment. I knew this player was in Wisconsin US Youth Soccer Olympic Development Program and I knew that we had to have a birth certificate on file plus a player profile with picture to participate. I called a friend in the State Association's office, she faxed down a new card, the birth certificate, a blank medical release, and the photo. In fifteen minutes I had reproduced the player pass (not laminated, but who cared), had the parents fill out a new medical release, and returned to the registrar with ALL my paperwork. Did I find the missing paperwork? Yes – apparently the paper fairy was having a bad day – the clear protective folder was stuck to another folder. The moral of the story is that no matter how organized any of us might be the fickle finger of fate has a way of demolishing the best system. So we need to be prepared not to panic, to be problem solvers, and to accept a lack of organization as part of being human. Ultimately even the worst case scenario can be resolved. We need to keep our eye on the real purpose of all this structure – letting our kids play this great game and have fun doing it. Until all my boxes are open, all my papers sorted, and everything put in their rightful place, I'll have to accept a certain amount of bedlam in my life. The games will go on without my structured input. And they'll be just as good. |
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| Apr 20 2009, 12:00 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
Today I am having my home professionally cleaned. It's an amazing though awkward event. I don't feel quite right sitting in a chair and observing someone dusting my bookcases and vacuuming my rugs. Usually when I am sitting watching someone perform I cheer them on. I'm not sure I can do that with a cleaning crew: "Way to wipe down that counter," or "Amazing polishing." So I asked them to please do my office first so I could retreat here and write to the hum of their activity. All of this cleaning comes at a cost - I had a flood in the house over winter break and lost 75% of our home. We are now nearing the end of a very disruptive and stressful rebuilding. As the final carpeting and painting is done, I continue to find small odds and ends which need to be either corrected or added or eliminated. But Friday we officially move back in. We also leave Friday to head to Indiana for US Youth Soccer Midwest Regional League games. Which points out the steady continuity that soccer brings to our family. Through all of this chaos, we have had to focus on soccer as well, which has proven to be a much needed diversion. Bryce began spring soccer at college, where he has earned the number one keeper spot for the moment. Robbie has had practice and a tournament in Las Vegas. Soccer proves life goes on. I'm not saying soccer is life despite the slogan. Nor would I assume to say soccer is the only steadying force in anyone's life. Lots of things like jobs or church offer an anchor for families. But I have been grateful for the diversion that soccer offered in these months of frustration. Every trip we went away, we returned to see progress on the house giving us hope that this particular calamity would eventually be behind us. Soccer gave Robbie a distraction from the discomfort of being displaced to a rental home. He hated not having his bed, his room, his "stuff." Clinging to whatever life raft I could find in my loss means I also have found comfort in writing more than I ever had. It provides a release for my frustrations and my fears as well as offering some respite from choosing paint colors, carpeting and hardware. Combining writing with soccer has proven to be the ultimate win-win situation for me. Soon I will be surrounded by my beloved books, papers and music. I'll have my office haven for solitude and rejuvenation. But I also look forward to traveling to California to see the boys play or to Ohio and Nevada to watch my grandkids play. Today I also got to clear out all the boxes and bags of "rescued" items from our house because I finally had a house to put them in. And then I had the ultimate joy of outfitting my van with my soccer survival kit. My chair, blankets, rain gear, umbrellas and soccer box have now taken their rightful place in the back of the van, and I swear they look positively radiant in anticipation of a new soccer season. Everyone will get to come out and "play" because the weather will vary from warm and sunny to cool and rainy. I'll get to use the gloves, hats and rain jackets. Everything seems right and orderly once again. Robbie has been in Florida on spring break with friends, but after talking to him yesterday I believe he is as anxious to get back to the routine of weekly soccer games and the camaraderie of soccer buddies. Soccer makes our lives more even, it gives us a common goal (pun intended) and excites our spirits. Like horses finally released to run in the pasture after a long winter, we too yearn to frolic and cavort. It's difficult to imagine our lives before soccer because we can't imagine our lives without soccer. Yet everyone eventually has to come to the end of actively playing and watching to mellow themselves in the life of armchair soccer enthusiast. I hope the day doesn't come too soon. I'm having too much fun enjoying my children and grandchildren having fun. Maybe soccer is life. |
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| Apr 13 2009, 9:15 AM | Topic: Susan Boyd Blog |
I make my living as a writer which probably doesn't seem like a real vocation. I began graduate school in computer science which would have been a much wiser financial choice. Everyone I was in school with has now retired from Microsoft and owns soccer teams. I still write for my dinner and wash soccer uniforms. My relationship with computers now revolves around my seriously significant dependence upon my laptop. It is the repository of all my writing, finances, addresses, calendar, and solitaire games. Losing my laptop would be worse than losing my brain. So although I rarely invest in those protection plans that push up the profit margins of Best Buy and cover everything from big screen TVs to tweezers, I bought one for my laptop.
This policy was amazing. I could blow torch my laptop, drop it from the Leaning Tower, roll over it with my car, or allow my dog to eat it. In every case it would be repaired or replaced. I had an amazing sense of security knowing that no matter how clumsy I might be I would still be able to insure I had my laptop. My Scottish father would have told me just to be careful and save the money. After all he didn't just pinch pennies; he photographed them and kept the negatives in his safe deposit box. Maybe I had a premonition having bought the laptop in Tampa during a soccer tournament. I threw traditional financial caution to the winds and signed on the dotted line.
I also further secured the safety of my precious computer by instituting the "no one touches this thing but me" policy with the iron clad rider of "absolutely no soccer balls in the house." My laptop ended up on Robbie's bed because he "borrowed" it to watch DVDs. It provided the perfect back stop for the size 5 soccer ball Bryce bicycle kicked down the hallway into Robbie's bedroom. In an instant the screen turned into smithereens as the LCD fairies released their Technicolor pixels into cyber space and the boys rapidly began pointing fingers.
The Best Buy help desk had a good laugh at my expense, but took my disabled laptop and promised to have it back good as new in two weeks. Those weeks gave me time to think, a dangerous proposition since I seem to have no governor on my ruminations. I got to thinking about how wonderful this protection policy was. For a certain fee, probably way overpriced, I could assure that no matter how awful my calamity and damage, I could once again have perfection. Not too many things in life are so reassuring. With two boys in soccer I immediately thought about all the times I've watched them writhing on the ground or seen their friends limping off the field where no guarantees of full recovery are offered. We can't buy any sort of policy which offers the promise of full protection for our children. We can only do our best to insure a modicum of safety for them by providing guidance in wise behaviors and by providing equipment which helps diminish injury.
Every time we insist on a helmet, buckling a seat belt, wearing a mouth guard, slipping on elbow or knee pads, buying proper sized shin guards, and teaching responsibilities we're buying a small insurance policy on their future. We can't wrap them in bubble wrap and lock them in a room because children need to develop independence, exercise their bodies, and give flight to their imaginations. We accept a certain amount of risk. That's not always easy because it also means giving up some control. When Robbie is tackled from behind and crashes to the ground, I have moments of complete panic until he gets up. I know injury is a very real possibility, so all I can do is hope that the coaches, referees, and players keep things under control to reduce injuries.
We can also help our children stay safely mobile by insisting on definite limits when they go down. Any head trauma, no matter how slight at first blush, should be treated seriously. Small hemorrhages can appear in the brain taking up to several hours to show any danger. Anyone getting a significant bump, even if he or she is lucid, should not return to play and should be monitored for 24 hours. Twists, turns, and knocks on any other body part where there is definite pain to the player and where limbs strain when supporting weight mean the player needs to sit out for 10 or 15 minutes to watch for swelling, discoloration, or increased pain. Cuts or tears can be patched up to stem the bleeding, but immediately following the practice or game should be seen by a doctor to assess if stitches will be needed.
I definitely encourage teams to elect one parent to be the medical safety officer for the team. This person should always have a good first aid kit available at all games and practices, plus it would be a great idea if they could become CPR certified. The Red Cross website www.redcrossstore.org or the OSHA website www.osha-safety-training.net/FA/firstaid.html provide guidelines and order forms for various first aid kits. The Red Cross and YMCA offer CPR courses for the public. Teams should always have ice and plastic bags available to make ice packs for any injuries.
Children come under our protective custody, but no protection is perfect. Sometimes catastrophic injuries occur. In those cases we have to accept that we can't protect our children from everything and not bury ourselves in guilt. Sports provide children with exercise, life lessons, and joy. Those gifts come with some peril but not enough to justify keeping kids out of sports. Good judgment offers enough protection, that while not perfect, comes close enough to give us some ease. I also just got new laptop last week on which the hard drive crashed after three days. The protection policy got me a new laptop immediately, but didn't get me back the two articles I had just written. So I guess there is no perfect protection out there even for laptops or tweezers. |
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