Monday, April 20, 2009
Today I am having my home professionally cleaned. It's an amazing though awkward event. I don't feel quite right sitting in a chair and observing someone dusting my bookcases and vacuuming my rugs. Usually when I am sitting watching someone perform I cheer them on. I'm not sure I can do that with a cleaning crew: "Way to wipe down that counter," or "Amazing polishing." So I asked them to please do my office first so I could retreat here and write to the hum of their activity. All of this cleaning comes at a cost - I had a flood in the house over winter break and lost 75% of our home. We are now nearing the end of a very disruptive and stressful rebuilding. As the final carpeting and painting is done, I continue to find small odds and ends which need to be either corrected or added or eliminated. But Friday we officially move back in.
We also leave Friday to head to Indiana for US Youth Soccer Midwest Regional League games. Which points out the steady continuity that soccer brings to our family. Through all of this chaos, we have had to focus on soccer as well, which has proven to be a much needed diversion. Bryce began spring soccer at college, where he has earned the number one keeper spot for the moment. Robbie has had practice and a tournament in Las Vegas. Soccer proves life goes on.
I'm not saying soccer is life despite the slogan. Nor would I assume to say soccer is the only steadying force in anyone's life. Lots of things like jobs or church offer an anchor for families. But I have been grateful for the diversion that soccer offered in these months of frustration. Every trip we went away, we returned to see progress on the house giving us hope that this particular calamity would eventually be behind us. Soccer gave Robbie a distraction from the discomfort of being displaced to a rental home. He hated not having his bed, his room, his "stuff."
Clinging to whatever life raft I could find in my loss means I also have found comfort in writing more than I ever had. It provides a release for my frustrations and my fears as well as offering some respite from choosing paint colors, carpeting and hardware. Combining writing with soccer has proven to be the ultimate win-win situation for me. Soon I will be surrounded by my beloved books, papers and music. I'll have my office haven for solitude and rejuvenation. But I also look forward to traveling to California to see the boys play or to Ohio and Nevada to watch my grandkids play.
Today I also got to clear out all the boxes and bags of "rescued" items from our house because I finally had a house to put them in. And then I had the ultimate joy of outfitting my van with my soccer survival kit. My chair, blankets, rain gear, umbrellas and soccer box have now taken their rightful place in the back of the van, and I swear they look positively radiant in anticipation of a new soccer season. Everyone will get to come out and "play" because the weather will vary from warm and sunny to cool and rainy. I'll get to use the gloves, hats and rain jackets. Everything seems right and orderly once again.
Robbie has been in Florida on spring break with friends, but after talking to him yesterday I believe he is as anxious to get back to the routine of weekly soccer games and the camaraderie of soccer buddies. Soccer makes our lives more even, it gives us a common goal (pun intended) and excites our spirits. Like horses finally released to run in the pasture after a long winter, we too yearn to frolic and cavort. It's difficult to imagine our lives before soccer because we can't imagine our lives without soccer. Yet everyone eventually has to come to the end of actively playing and watching to mellow themselves in the life of armchair soccer enthusiast. I hope the day doesn't come too soon. I'm having too much fun enjoying my children and grandchildren having fun. Maybe soccer is life.