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Parents Blog

Susan Boyd blogs on USYouthSoccer.org every Monday.  A dedicated mother and wife, Susan offers a truly unique perspective into the world of a "Soccer Mom". 

 

Out of the shadows

Susan Boyd

It's a topic most people don't discuss, or if they do, it's in hushed tones with some embarrassment. Every day finds parents having to go out in public with their children armed with little or no information but having to make one of the bigger decisions of their children's sports life. I'm talking about buying their children's first athletic cup or sports bra. Those of you who have already had to do it know how your visit to the store was couched in confusion and awkwardness. This is a purchase we parents may have only made once for ourselves because not so long ago the choices were simple and timeless. I know my husband still uses the jock strap he bought in college and I still have that running bra from the 80s in my drawer. They do the job. But now the permutations of what you can purchase have exploded. So what can we expect when we stride through the electronic doors of the emporium? What manual exists to help us not only to discuss this purchase with our children, but to guide them to the right product?

We certainly can't rely on the staff to help. We are inevitably greeted by an 18-year-old who still giggles when hearing anyone talk about the planet Uranus. So why would we expect him or her to be able to deal with an intimate sports purchase with any kind of delicacy. We also can't be assured of a salesperson being the same gender as our child, which adds to everyone's discomfort. And worse we quickly discover that given all the options available for cups and bras asking a clerk what would be appropriate for your pre-teen daughter or son would be akin to asking that same clerk to suggest an investment strategy to weather the fluctuations of international currencies. We'd be better off using the proverbial blind stab.

Let's start with sports bras. Girls are acutely aware that their bras will be seen whether or not they choose to rip off their jersey following a successful PK ala Brandi Chastain. If they play for a club that has a white jersey as part of their kit, then they know how see-through that jersey can be with a rainy day or lots of sweat augmenting the visibility. Sports bras can run the gamut from utilitarian to fashionable to inappropriate. But if I had to categorize the level of importance for your daughter it would be fashionableness, inappropriateness, and then utility. Selecting the right bra won't just be about size or support, which on their own can be daunting given that bras can be stretchy, see-through, supportive, one piece, clasp, or built-in to a shirt. Oh no, you will need to carefully consider how the bra looks. Therefore you may end up purchasing two or three different bras depending on how much of them will be seen and how well they color coordinate with the uniform. And forget about one size fits all or small, medium, and large. Sports bra sizes are now as varied as regular bra sizes. How to pick the size correctly becomes its own dilemma not easily resolved if no dressing rooms are available. It's not unreasonable to expect that you'll be buying three times the number of bras your daughter will need and then returning most of them after a private fitting at home.

But at least sports bras are returnable. This is not the case with cups and jock straps. So getting the right one can involve buying and discarding several incorrect ones. Now it's true that most boys don't use this equipment for soccer, but it's also true that most boys don't play just soccer. So I know I am writing this for most of you. There was a time when these items came in two sizes: youth and adult.   They came in hard plastic cases and hung on metal hooks on the edge of shelves holding baseballs, gloves, and orange cones. You didn't even need to have your kid with you. But now the choices are endless, difficult, and occupy their own aisle. There are boxer shorts with cups sewn in them, there are actual sizes such as small, medium, and large which begs the question do you buy the right size or do you buy the size that doesn't make your son feel inadequate, and there are colors. The jock strap of the past 100 years no longer carries any standing with the athletes of today. You have to have some space age fabric designed with some ergonomic fitting that is endorsed by some superstar. So now the products are so specialized that they only work for select groups of players. My grandson can't find a comfortable cup to save his life. I think he has an entire dresser dedicated to the discarded options he selected over the past year. They end up being too small, too large, too tight, too loose, too squishy, too hard, too awkward, and too wedgy. The hunt goes on every time his family goes to a sporting goods store. The crusaders had more success in locating the Holy Grail than my grandson has finding a cup that doesn't preoccupy him graphically when wearing it.

Read up on the products out there because I can guarantee that there will be as much social acceptance based on the cup or bra you purchase as in the cell phone you use. I would never have thought that the most intimate of sports apparel would now have a "cool" factor that requires careful research and acquisition. Leave it to the trend setters to have found the one area of my life where I thought I could remain on equal footing with the Joneses and turn it into another battleground for elitism. I encourage us parents to remove the silence that surrounds this topic and begin to talk parent to parent about what's out there, because it is scary what the stores offer. We thought we could handle this discretely like head lice, but those days are gone. We must begin to speak out to one another or we risk making ill-informed and disastrous choices that could actually impact our children's self-images. Good luck…you'll need it.