Monday, April 25, 2011
We have two soccer games to watch tonight, the night before Good Friday. I'm guessing the powers that be decided to squeeze in as much soccer before families begin to celebrate the holiday. Here in the Midwest, we have to use our weekends frugally since so few of them are soccer friendly. We actually had three inches of ice on the ground just two days ago. It looked like a giant slushy scene from "Glee," all gooey and slurpy across the landscape. And last weekend the boys played a game in the rain which turned to snow just as the game ended. It's hard to believe that we are just eight days from May.
Playing games during holidays isn't unusual in youth soccer. Last May was the first Mother's Day I didn't have a game to attend. We never make plans over Labor Day weekend because I know there will be plenty of games scheduled. We have been to tournaments over Easter, Memorial Day weekend and July 4th, missed trick or treating, spent Father's Day on the road and, of course, Mother's Day on the sidelines.
Youth soccer isn't meant to overtake your life, although sometimes that's exactly what it does. As youth soccer has grown in America, so have the opportunities for kids to compete. Traveling to tournaments, playing in summer leagues, indoor soccer, and multiple recreational leagues can be a benefit or a curse depending on how it all affects family dynamics. We can quickly get caught up in the enthusiasm of the moment, not considering how this will impact our lives going forward. Everything comes with a cost both in time and money, so families have to take a breath and decide how deep they want to dive. It's not unusual now for clubs to send their youngest teams to tournaments in the area, and I know from experience that many families, wanting to engage in the "full" soccer package, clamor for traveling tournaments as well.
It's important to keep things in perspective. While traveling to some exotic city like Rockford, Illinois or Evansville, Indiana and staying at a Motel 6 sounds enticing, it's not always as glamorous as one might believe. And giving up other family adventures for a traveling tournament needs to take into regard everyone in the family. Once you agree to a more complicated team schedule it's rare to have it simplify. Be sure you really want and are able to handle the extra time and money costs that leaping into a traveling team entails. Adult peer pressure can be very tough to resist, especially when you've been given the opportunity to participate with the "in" crowd.
That adult peer pressure can also be fairly insensitive when it comes to families wanting to share significant holidays alone and not with their soccer friends. Many families take their religious celebrations very seriously and consider them an important and significant part of their children's upbringing. So teams need to be sensitive to those priorities when it comes to events like Easter and Yom Kippur. No one should make a family feel unreasonable for insisting on forgoing a soccer game for a family commemoration, nor should a family feel shy about declining to participate in a game for whatever reasons they deem fit. Youth soccer will give way to Select soccer soon enough, so no one needs to rush the transition if they don't feel ready to do so.
We have always enjoyed the routine that soccer brought to our family, but we were lucky that we had two kids close in age who enjoyed the same sport. Had they had different interests, or been further apart in age, or hadn't been our last two kids, then we would probably have had very different priorities. For the first five years of their soccer playing they were in the same club with the same tournament schedule, so our calendar was full but had a natural pairing of events that made it easy to do things as a family. For others the management of family time wasn't as easy. We all need to be accepting of the limitations that each family places on soccer playing, especially when it comes to holidays since those are the times when memories are built. Clubs can be sensitive to scheduling by avoiding religious holidays when possible.
Most of us want our kids to develop not only a passion for activities but a talent for them as well. When it comes to soccer, this usually means a strong year-round dedication to the sport. However, there is definitely time for families to resist the full-time commitment until they are sure it's the best decision for everyone involved. Youth soccer should be fun for everyone in the family. The experiences of youth can only be had once, so families need to make the important decisions on what those experiences will be. Making memories whether on the soccer field or in church or at the family table should be individually directed and accepted. While being a good team member is an important part of learning commitment and responsibility, so is sharing family traditions. We each need to decide how we'll celebrate the holidays and respect the decisions those around us make. I guaranteed soccer will survive no matter what we decide.