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Parents Blog

Susan Boyd blogs on USYouthSoccer.org every Monday.  A dedicated mother and wife, Susan offers a truly unique perspective into the world of a "Soccer Mom". 

 

Speed Bumps

Susan Boyd

Do you ever have one of those weeks?  I'm having one.  First the transmission went on my car.  I know – shocker – just shy of 200,000 miles.  The nerve of Toyota to build such a flimsy system!  Then my dryer motor went.  Since you all have soccer players and its summer and they sweat, you know how terrible it is to lose your dryer.  And I don't even own a clothes line or clothes pins, but I will have to go get those things because my dryer is so old that it will be a week before they can locate a new motor.  Then the TV refused to turn on.  I have a service plan, so I thought, "Lucky me, at least this won't cost."  But costs come in other forms than money.  I didn't realize that a service plan wasn't a guarantee of service.  The TV broke July 16th and the first service appointment was July 30th.  I think the dispatcher on the phone sensed that he was dealing with a fragile spirit when I said, "You’re kidding me!" with that crazed, hysterical voice my kids know means trouble.  He quickly searched for a better appointment, and so as I write this I am waiting for the service rep to show up.  As straws and camels' backs go, I got a doozy.  Bryce called last night.  Nothing good comes after this conversation opener:  "Mom, you're not going to like this . . . !"  Bryce's car was stranded 20 miles west of our house on a freeway off-ramp.  By the way, Bryce's second sentence was, "I didn't do anything!" because I am sure he heard that crazed, hysterical voice beginning to rise.  He got the car towed to a garage and spent the night at his girlfriend's parents' home since I didn't have transportation to go get him, and called this morning to say it is probably the clutch cable and still under warranty.  I expect the toilets to back up at any moment.

Before the TV broke I got to watch Abby Wambach have one of those weeks too.  The U.S. Women’s National Team was playing the Brazilian Women's National Team in a pre-Olympic "friendly."  I use the term loosely since both teams approached the game with the same intense competitive spirit as if it were the Olympic finals.  In one aggressive play Wambach ran for the ball and met a Brazilian player going full speed with the same purpose.  Wambach ended up on the ground, raised her head and signaled for help.  She had snapped both her leg bones below the knee.  She was remarkably calm as they applied an inflatable splint and then lifted her unto a gurney and drove her off the field.  She even managed a thumb’s up.  But the Olympics were no longer her future.  At that moment I am quite sure she would have gladly traded her broken leg for my broken appliances and vehicles.   She will be repaired, and according to my husband, the expert on TV viewed injuries, she should be as good as new in about two months.  So while she has plenty of soccer in front of her, she may never again have the Olympics, something she trained for and dreamed about most of her life. 

Her injury shows how tenuous a sport’s career can be.  Robbie is getting ready to go to a soccer camp, and I have been bemoaning the lack of communication from the camp about things like what to bring and medical release forms.  I made the joke that if they didn't want a signed medical release then we could just sue them for anything.  Immediately Robbie "I Want To Get Rich Quick" Boyd asked, "What do you think I'm worth – I mean ballpark."  I told him that right now he was merely potential as a soccer player, so if he had a career ending injury, he unfortunately would also not yet have a career that could be valued.  But then I thought a bit more about it and realized that his potential college scholarships would be affected resulting in a financial effect on his future.  This also got me thinking again about the frenzy to train kids in order to get a sport’s scholarship to college and how a Roth IRA or a college fund are much better bets for paying for college than banking on athletic skills.  You only have to realize that when Abby began her chase for the ball she was going to the Olympics; three seconds later she was not. 

While most soccer injuries heal within six months, they can have other lasting effects.  One of Bryce's teammates broke his wrist during the chaos in the box after a corner kick.  He’d been a good player with potential and returned to playing soccer a few months later.  But he wasn’t the same.  He had become timid, avoided contact, and hung back during aggressive plays.  Within six months he had quit soccer.  Another of Bryce's teammates, a goalkeeper, had been on the regional team for three years, colleges were showing great interest, and he had affectively bumped Bryce off his starting sport.  But in his senior year he quit high school soccer and ultimately all soccer.  He just didn’t like the pressure.  Robbie went to camp this summer with a player who had gotten a full ride from a college, hesitated in committing, and ended up without a scholarship and without a place to play college soccer.  He decided to do a fifth year of high school so he could start the process all over again in the hopes of still securing a scholarship. 

So long as we have our health and our family, life is good.  All the bumps along the way prove Nietzsche's axiom, "That which does not kill me makes me stronger."  But some bumps end up being seismic in their impact.  Abby Wambach will go on to play in the Women's World Cup and perhaps in the 2012 Olympics.  She will definitely play in the new professional women’s soccer league.  But I’m sure that she is also distraught over missing these Olympics.   We each need to measure the relative impact of the calamities in our lives and deal with them appropriately.    If your child is set on playing college soccer, the opportunities definitely exist for most competent and driven players.  But if you are set on your child getting a scholarship to play college soccer, you may need to adjust those expectations.  And if you are banking on a sport's scholarship and for any reason your child ends up not playing that sport, you will need to accept it is one of those bumps in life.   I think Abby's thumb's up was her way of showing she accepted her fate and was looking beyond the disappointment.  Now if my neighbors can just look beyond the string of boxer shorts drying in the sun this weekend, we’ll all be ahead of the game.