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Parents Blog

Susan Boyd blogs on USYouthSoccer.org every Monday.  A dedicated mother and wife, Susan offers a truly unique perspective into the world of a "Soccer Mom". 

 

Neither Rain nor Snow

Susan Boyd

With spring soccer season sloshing its way into our lives, I got to thinking how I survive the mud, the rain, the snow, the cold and the puddles. Since, every soccer season offers its own obstacle course of weather and locations, I thought it might be a good time to recap some of the survival techniques I have gleaned from other wiser and more experienced soccer parents. I can lay claim to a few of these suggestions, but in truth I owe a huge debt of gratitude to those who have journeyed before me and made my own trek much easier.

I throw my soccer kit into my trunk as soon as my momnesiac mind (see previous blog) can remember to do so. In the kit (actually a box) I store the following: towels, folding umbrellas, gallon size zip-lock bags, four or more 33 gallon garbage bags, NASA blankets, gloves, stocking caps, extra socks, extra underwear, old pair of shin guards, old pair of cleats, Dry-Guy, paper towel roll, toilet paper roll, safety pins, bottled water, small broom, Wet-Ones and first aid kit. The NASA blankets you can get at most sporting goods stores. These are the tin foil looking thin sheets that are actually very warm and great protection for the team shivering on the bench. They fold up into a tiny package, so are easily transportable. Whenever I see those stretchy one size fits all knit gloves and hats on sale I buy a dozen, usually at Walgreen's or CVS. They disappear fast and are godsends on those days when the wind is really whipping around. The Dry-Guy I mentioned in an earlier blog. It's a machine that looks like an upside down table with a protrusion for the motor. The four "legs" are actually tubes through which warm air blows. It can dry out a pair of cleats or socks or goalie gloves in a matter of hours, so it's really useful for tournaments when you don't have much time between games. The toilet paper has come in so useful over the years for those port-a-johns that are missing a roll and for those au naturelle visits you sometimes have to make on isolated fields. I put the garbage bags down on the floor of the car and they really work to collect the mud, water and yuck that soccer cleats bring into your vehicle. You can then carefully remove them and shake them out and reuse them. The broom is for those games in the snow – you can use the broom to brush off the lines on the field and later the snow off the shoes.

In the summer I just add sunscreen and more water to the kit. While we can hope that mud and rain are well behind us, the occasional thunderstorm can create the same soupy conditions that long-term spring showers produce. On really hot days you might want to bring along a cooler filled with ice water in which you put several dozen hand towels. Placing these soaked towels on the back of a neck can really help reduce temperature and are great for players to use during a game. Most big box department stores will have packs of towels you can buy for under $10 a dozen, especially in August when kids are college bound. It's an easy quick fix for a really muggy day. Kids usually don't want to put on sunscreen but if you can catch them and rub some on the high risk areas it will help minimize pain later in the day: tops of ears, necks, faces, back of legs and if they have those buzz cuts, top of the head or even the part for a pair of braids.

I learned a really great tip when I travel to tournaments. Because I invariably have a fistful of papers confirming hotels, rental cars, airline itineraries, and soccer schedules it's difficult to keep them all sorted out. I read about this trick in a travel magazine and I thought "genius!" Print each one on a different color of paper. That way when you look in your bag or purse or notebook you can identify the one you want to see right away. Sometimes I have to get a bit creative on colors if I have maps to several different fields and the hotel in addition to everything else, but it certainly is so much easier to just pull out the sheet I want instantly. I also am a huge fan of www.maps.google.com because you can click and drag the map to position it exactly how you want to print it out. They have a service called "My Maps" that you register for, but it's free. You can design the map anyway you want with great logos including a soccer player to mark your destinations. They have different fonts, lines for routes in different colors which you can label, and as you place the lines it tells you distance and time of travel. You also can print it with both roads and satellite photo or a new feature called "terrain." This may sound silly, but I can't tell you how often seeing a landmark has helped us locate the turn we want to make. I know many people are Buck Rogers in the 24th century with their navigation systems, but for those of us mired in the 21st century, the Google maps work really well.

If kids are traveling overseas be sure to make a copy of the main page of their passports and keep in a safe place at home. That way if the passport is lost or stolen, you can fax the copy to the American Embassy or Consulate and it really speeds up the replacement of the document. If you are lucky enough to tag along, then leave the copies with a friend or relative. We also learned the hard way that for our kids under 18 it helps to have a copy of their birth certificate when traveling within the U.S. by plane. Robbie's name has been placed on the no-fly list which we didn't find out until returning to Milwaukee from Tampa one hurried evening. Luckily I had a copy of his birth certificate with me left over from getting him his driver's permit and that helped get him on the plane.   It didn't matter that the Robert Boyd they were looking for was in his mid-forties and Caucasian, while our Robbie is 17 and African-American. Seeing was not believing. They wanted proof of where he was born and when! We have heard of other parents traveling with their minor children who still had to show some proof that their kids weren't eighteen hence the value of a birth certificate. Finally bring your insurance card and be sure your kids have a copy with them if they are traveling without you. If you have your SSN on the card, black out all but the last four digits on the copy. Wisely, most insurance companies are now going to group and participant numbers that have nothing to do with SSN. Besides proof of insurance, hospitals need the telephone number of the insurance company so they can get charges authorized before treatment, so check that the number is on the card and copy.

I also have learned to keep the following in my car: jumper cables, kitty litter, a folding shovel, an up-to-date atlas, puzzle book or magazine with pencil, a deodorant spray like Febreeze, Lysol or Oust and folding chairs. The boys will add things like PS2, DVD, PSP, MP3 and whatever other alphabet products are necessary for a road trip. To that end I have added a six outlet power cord and an outlet transformer plugs into the lighter. It was nearly a panic to rival Wall Street's Black Thursday when the power cord went missing one trip! Those of you who live in the south may not think you need the kitty litter, but if you get some freezing rain or black ice, it sure comes in handy.  The puzzle book has saved my sanity during several long bouts of rain delays. The spray I believe is self-explanatory!

Lastly, when we are traveling to another city for a tournament I do a bit of internet browsing to discover "time busters" near the hotel or the fields. I check out shopping malls, movie theaters, bowling alleys, parks and attractions. I put them on a sheet with phone numbers and operating hours. Sometimes nobody wants to go out at all, so I make sure to jot down the numbers of food places that deliver. Sure they have a phone book in the hotel, but if you don't know the area, it doesn't always help identify places close enough to be reasonable. Actually this is where Google maps come in again. When I locate an address, I can also locate specific restaurants by either name or type, and attractions in the vicinity. Google provides the address, phone numbers, and occasionally the operating hours as well as links to a business website when available. So it makes it quick and easy to do.

Hopefully some of these tips will help you have an enjoyable and organized soccer season. I'm sure lots of you have other tips to add, so put them in the comments section. That way, I'll continue to look even more organized and wise than I really am.
 

Reel Time

Susan Boyd

Outside of my family and soccer, my greatest passion is film. I love movies, especially old movies. I find myself drawn to certain films time and time again. Although so familiar that I can recite lines of dialogue, I still enjoy letting these movies wash over me once more. People may wonder why I would "waste" time on an experience I have already had. I'm not completely sure why, but I think I understand it in some ways.

Strong visual medium, such as art, books, and film, strives to offer the viewer enough complexity that no one can take it all in with one viewing. Studying the "Last Supper" multiple times means art historians continue to make stunning observations about what Da Vinci intended and what mysteries exist in the fresco. Readers can still glean new insights and interpretations from Moby Dick or King Lear. In addition visual medium depends upon the experience the viewer brings to the event. I am certain that seeing "An Unmarried Woman" while happily married and then again in the throes of a divorce will alter perceptions of the film. Great art is vibrant and alive allowing not only for the possibility of a new outlook but a new outcome as well.

I know that on that wet and foggy tarmac in Casablanca Rick will convince Ilsa to leave with Victor using the unforgettable dialogue ". . . maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life . . ." but I am nonetheless caught up in the moment because the promise still exists that she may not leave. Rhett tells Scarlett, ""Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. . ." yet before the door closes I can hope Scarlett will explain and all the ridiculous mix-ups preceding it will sort themselves out. In the "Godfather" there is that moment of tension before Michael Corleone shoots the police chief in cold blood that I'm not sure he can do it or that he can survive doing it, despite the fact that the scene has played out on my TV screen a dozen times previously.

When the character Tom Baxter walks out of "The Purple Rose of Cairo" into the movie house to meet Cecilia, Woody Allen showed how the promise of something different draws people into movies. Cecilia watches the film repeatedly until finally at one viewing Tom Baxter turns away from the prescribed action and says to her from the screen, "You really must like this movie." It would never happen, but it is exactly the reason I watch films again. It's comforting to see the same moments played out again and again, but it is also delectable to think this time it might be different.

So what does my movie viewing have to do with soccer? I think I bring the same optimism and openness for whatever may happen when I come watch soccer games. I try not to set myself up for any expectations or disappointments and instead just let the game play out. I wasn't always that way. I did try to "write a script" for every game, and like a director whose actors have refused to follow her scenario, I would go crazy. I'm not sure why I thought I could control the outcome of a game by my tantrums and taunts any more than shouting at the screen "You idiot. . .don't leave with Victor" would change Ilsa's mind. It took me a long time to realize that the destiny of the game was to a certain extent already written at least in the sense that no one person could change the outcome. I know that in Europe and South America the crowd believes they can turn the tide – and perhaps screaming in the 10s of thousands they can – but I have never attended a youth game with more than 100 fans on the sidelines, so we are a weak tribe against the fates!  

I do make a huge investment when I watch my movies. I make sure the house is quiet, the shades are drawn, the dogs are walked, there is a full glass of water or ice tea beside me and a good blanket to curl up in. I hang on every word, cry at even the puniest of emotional moments, and feel myself gripping the arms of my chair as tensions rise. I know the tiny high school team will win in "Hoosiers" but I still hang on every shot, every foul and every disappointment because they might lose this time.

It's that way when I go to a soccer game. I make sure I have my chair set just right, a bottled water next to me, an umbrella or blanket nearby if needed and my "hope springs eternal" tube of sunscreen. I have seen this game many times, yet I have no idea what the outcome will be, and that creates delicious opportunities for amazement or frustration or tension or joy. All the things I feel when I see a good movie. The big distinction is that the game will be different each time. I can count on it. All I have to do is sit back and enjoy. That's worth the price of admission.
 

Fair Play

Sam Snow

Yesterday I was in Milan, Italy at the San Siro stadium. I watched Inter Milan play against Palermo. Inter won the match 2-1 in front of 40,000 spectators. Those watching included the 1993 and 1994 US Youth Soccer Olympic Development Program Region I boys' teams and staff. The match was skillful, quite tactical and in the second half it was played at a fast and entertaining pace. Three distinct times during the match the teams displayed an unwritten rule of the game. It is a rule which more of our coaches should teach their players.
 
When a hard injury occurs and it is seen by the players that the injured player or players will not get up then the team with the ball intentionally kicks the ball out over the touchline. Once the ball is out of play then the referee may allow onto the field the first aid staff. They may now attend to the injured player or players. When the match resumes the team taking the throw-in throws the ball back to the other team's defensive third and they do not challenge the ball until the other team has the ball under control. So team A has kicked the ball into touch so that aid can be given to an injury. In a return act of Fair Play team B puts the ball back into play with a throw-in and gives the ball back to team A. Fair Play – be a good sport! This act occurred in a Serie A match where big money is on the line. Inter Milan played the ball out and Palermo gave it back. This was one instance of Fair Play.
 
In the other two cases players had horrific collisions with both players collapsing to the ground and then no movement at all. The referee immediately stopped the match and called on the first aid personnel. When hurt players don't move it's a real red flag; sometimes writhing is a good sign. When play resumed with a drop ball the team that didn't have possession of the ball at the time the match was stopped stood passively at the drop ball and let the opponent kick the ball to a teammate; an act of Fair Play by team A. Mind you too that team B kicked the drop ball back toward their end of the field to a supporting teammate. This act occurred in the Palermo and Inter match.
 
During the same match a second serious collision occurred with again the referee instantly halting play. This time at the drop ball the opponent didn't even stand near the drop ball and allowed the team who had been in possession to play the drop ball completely uncontested. In this last case it was Palermo in possession and they played the drop ball back to a supporting teammate; an impressive bit of sportsmanship for a team that was losing 2-1 at the time.
 
Now if professional teams in one of the best leagues in the world where millions of dollars are at stake can display Fair Play why not our youth teams? So whose job is it to instill Fair Play into our youngsters? First and foremost it's a responsibility of the parents. Then of course the coaches must teach and demonstrate sporting ethics. Once the adults set the right example then it is up to the players to live up to the standard.
 

Once you know it all

Sam Snow

This past weekend I attended the 2nd annual state coaching symposium for the Wyoming State Soccer Association. The symposium weekend included the coaching session, both classroom and demonstrations. There was also a state assignor course for referees, US Youth Soccer Olympic Development Program training for the boys and girls and the Annual General Meeting for the state association. It was a weekend packed with wonderful soccer activities and folks from all around the state joined in the fun. This is quite impressive given the geographic size of Wyoming and the distances people must travel to participate in any soccer activity.
 
Two weeks ago, I was in Maryland working with coaches at the Icebreaker clinic. In both cases, and in states that are 1,600 miles apart, volunteers and paid coaches took the time and made the effort to continue developing their coaching craft. I was impressed and pleased by the commitment of these coaches to learn more about the game and how to coach. These are the sort of folks upon whom the game grows. They do not assume they know it all just because they have played the game or coaches for a number of years. They are eager to learn more and actively seek insights from other coaches. The dedication of these coaches to continually improve themselves so that they can coach other people's children is remarkable. They sacrifice time from their own families and jobs to do something good for the soccer community. All of these coaches, especially the volunteers, should be applauded!
 
The experience of the coaching clinics and symposia brings up the question of who's coaching our kids. Too often clubs accept a warm body to coach because they are often in dire need of a coach for a team. Yes, we do need coaches for the teams so that the kids can play, but why do we allow some to continue to coach without any coaching education. As a parent we would not send our children to a school where the teachers had no qualifications to teach. Parents are the customers of a soccer club in that they pay the fees. The players are the consumers of a soccer club as they partake of the services of a soccer club. The players are the ones in the club in order to receive a soccer education.
 
The leaders of a soccer club have an obligation to the consumers to push the coaches in the club to continually improve their craft. The customers of the club should expect and demand this effort from the club. If we raise through education the abilities of the average coach then we directly raise the caliber of play in the USA. We quite likely then also keep more kids playing soccer longer into their teenaged years. So for a soccer club the continuing education of its coaches and administrators means better retention of the consumers and therefore the customers too. This can only improve the health of soccer.
 
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
-John Wooden