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Coaches Blog

Sam's Blog is a bi-weekly addition to the US Youth Soccer Blog. Sam Snow is the Coaching Director for US Youth Soccer.

 

Interview with Liberty Mutual Responsible Sports and the Positive Coaching Alliance

Sam Snow

Dear Reader,
 
For this installment of my blog, I hope you’ll enjoy this Liberty Mutual Responsible Sports interview with the Positive Coaching Alliance.
 
 

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U10 Tournaments

Sam Snow

"I am a coach struggling with recreational U9/10 soccer parents and kids wanting to go to tournaments. According to the US Youth Soccer Development Manual [ed. note: Player Development Model], tournament play for U10 is discouraged (and I get that). Then why does almost every tournament out there offers U10 (some even U9 and U8) brackets?"
 
There are indeed many clubs and leagues around the nation that run tournaments for the U10 age group. For those folks it provides an additional revenue stream. Tournament organizers will go as young as they think they can get paying customers. That revenue stream is there because the parents of the U10 players either think that the tournament environment and the focus on outcome of performance develops the players and/or they want it as a sport spectator event for themselves. In fact, much of the challenge in providing a balanced environment of development and age appropriate competition for the U10 age group is impacted by the desire of the adults associated with the teams for a spectacle, as if they were watching a MLS match.
 
So what’s the solution? On the short term look for festival formats for your team rather than outcome based tournaments. Then work with the parents of your team to collectively address the matter as one of age appropriate player development with your club leaders. On a slightly longer term look to set up a U10 academy as is done in Ohio, Indiana, Florida, Montana, Georgia, Iowa, Louisiana and North Carolina.
 
 

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Tough Times Don’t Last, Tough People Do

Susan Boyd

This has been my mantra for 2012. I have had some on-going medical and family problems that promise to continue into at least the first quarter of 2013. Every time I begin to feel sorry for myself I repeat this statement. My parents raised tough kids; I come from ancestors who took Conestoga wagons from Ohio to Wisconsin and then ultimately to North Dakota. My family, for generations, was made of farmers battling drought and pests. They survived the Great Depression, loss of children, living in tents, and suffered through influenza epidemics and being gassed fighting in WWI. So in this day and age of flu vaccines, nuclear medicine, air travel, moving companies that pack up, transport cross-country, and unpack everything in our 3,000 square foot homes within a week, two cars in the driveway, online shopping and instant movies, we really have it pretty good. Nevertheless, when things go wrong, it can seem not only bleak, but unfair.
 
Youth soccer is filled with tough times. As parents, we can get discouraged if our kids don’t make the top travel team, lose an important game, suffer a major injury, lose their starting spot, watch best friends move on to other clubs, don’t make the state Olympic Development pool and a dozen other scenarios we’ve all experienced. Our kids likewise feel the frustration of soccer not going as well as they had hoped. It’s tough! Yet, even the toughest situation will eventually pass into oblivion. What has to last is the family, our children’s joy and the will to improve enough to not give tough times a foothold.
 
How can we let our kids know that tough times will disappear while also giving them the tools to be tough enough to face any situation? We can’t confuse toughness with boorishness or confrontation. Toughness is an internal state of mind that allows us to handle adversity with a positive and effective solution. There are several important techniques we can use. Each one plays a significant role in helping our kids not wallow in self-pity while still being sympathetic to their right to feel bad for a while. 
 
First, don’t be overly solicitous. Giving your players a good hug, agreeing that the situation stinks and giving them the space to feel bad will indicate your support. But don’t try to bribe them into happiness; pout with them; denigrate the team, the coach or the other players; and definitely don’t talk about it being unfair. Fairness is subjective, and if children think every time something bad happens to them it’s because they were victims of injustice they won’t learn to accept responsibility for their role in tough outcomes or for their ability to overcome the situations. 
 
The next step is to become solution oriented. Discuss with your children what the next step should be. Modulate their anger by gently encouraging them to come up with reasonable and well-tempered ideas. If they lose their starting spot, they might react by wanting to quit the team. After all, they lost face. Who wants to return to the field to watch another player in their spot? But that’s an extreme and emotional response to a common tough situation. So, you can agree that quitting is a solution, but point out where that leaves the player – no team. Show them how a tough-minded individual would handle it. Sticking with the team, finding out from the coach how to win the starting spot back and working extra hard to make that happen. Find solutions in which your children have to make an investment. Encourage them to give the problem time to smooth out so that any solution has the space to evolve.
 
Finally, give your children lots of praise for hanging tough. It’s not easy for your son to know he didn’t stop the winning goal in the state championship or your daughter to know her foul in the box gave the opposing team a PK. But that’s soccer. What happens in soccer happens in life too. Our children will fail important tests, have fender benders, lose a love and break their favorite toy. How they respond to those tough moments depends on their willingness to accept that those moments happen. Let them know how proud you are that they worked through sorrow, frustration and embarrassment. If they need help accomplishing that, then give it to them, but do your best to make them take the reins. Eventually our children will learn that they can overcome the bumps in the road because they have the confidence and tools to do so.
 
I certainly don’t wish anything more substantial than disappointment as the trouble life throws them, but if your children can handle the small stuff, they can also handle the big stuff. I’ve been pretty lucky in my long life to avoid really tough times, but I was given the skills and self-reliance to handle troubles. Like I said, my parents raised tough kids. I don’t know what more the fates have in store for me, but I take the problems as they come, repeat my mantra and know that every situation has a solution. Kids possess a natural resiliency that slowly dissipates as they become more invested in success and self-image. Our job is to translate that resiliency into the tools to stand tough in the face of adversity. We can do it if we also can do it for ourselves. When we become tough people we show our kids how effective being tough can be in getting through life. Truthfully, tough times may extend for a while, but they don’t last. Eventually something good will come along. We just have to develop the feistiness to get through to the good stuff.

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Missing Piece

Sam Snow

A club director at a rural soccer club posed this question to me: "What will it take to create a program that can move an American parent from zero to soccer passionate and soccer competent?"
 
Yes we can move some parent-coaches into passionate soccer fans, but only a few. I think we have been doing that for many years.
 
That generation of former soccer players who are now the coaches, referees and administrators has begun. The former players of the 1970s and 1980s are largely the ones leading youth soccer now. The former players of the 1990s are coming into those ranks slowly now too.
 
Can we turn all volunteer soccer coaches into fans of the game? No. But you can influence a core group that could help a club raise its standard. So here’s one idea toward that end.
 
  • Organize a coaches’ game one time per week. Play 5 vs. 5 or less for them to experience both sides of the ball consistently. The small-sided game will put them into realistic game situations often so that their feel for what their players experience will be accelerated.
 
  • Use the game once in a while as a teaching game.
    • Laws of the Game
    • Techniques
    • Tactics
      • Principles of play
    • Fitness/recovery
 
  • Your idea of the chaotic, beautiful street game could help the coaches understand this model of play compared to the adult model through the coaches’ game.
 
Nothing gives someone a passion for the game better than the game itself. Give this a try!
 
 

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